It's never easy to realize that a loved one is going to die. While death is a natural part of life, many people avoid talking or thinking about death, especially regarding the imminent the death of a spouse, child or parent. Whether a loved one is suffering from a long-term illness or the damage caused by accidents or traumatic injuries, preparing loved ones for the death of that person is never easy. However, death, regardless of religious belief or cultural heritage can be prepared for with dignity, patience and compassion, not only for the dying loved one, but also for family members and friends.
Step 1
Talk to the person who is dying, or a spouse or other family member, and determine if advanced directives or living wills have been signed, if desired. Make sure the family doctor has a copy, as well hospital records for the patient chart, if the person in in a hospital environment. These discussions should have been held earlier in regard to wishes for life support such as respirators or artificial nutrition or resuscitation measures.
Step 2
Prepare and inform family members, especially children if they will be around the dying person, of the changes a dying person may experience. Deciding what and how much to tell children is a personal decision, but any information you offer should be honest and open. Answer questions broached by children as directly as possible.
A dying person may show a marked decrease in appetite or interest in things going on around him. Remember that every death experience is different and there is no way to predict with absolute certainty what will happen. However, a person's body may begin to cool as circulation slows and decreases to extremities, saving more blood for vital organ function.
The dying individual may seem disorientated or confused at times, so encourage family members who visit to speak softly and calmly while in the room and when speaking to the person.
Step 3
Talk with someone who knows and understands the dying process, such as a nurse, hospice worker or your doctor about the dying process so that you will understand what may occur as the death becomes imminent. You will then be able to share this knowledge with family so they know what to expect and are not overly startled by the process.
Step 4
Warn family members that the dying process may produce strange sounds or incidents such as loss of continence. A person's breathing may become louder or raspy in a process known as Cheyene-Stokes breathing, which means the dying person may experience very shallow breath with longer gaps of time, up to a minute, in between.
Step 5
Encourage family members to speak to the person if possible, even if she appears to be in a deep sleep. Don't assume she can't hear you, as hearing is the last sense to go, states Hospice.net. Speak to the person in a normal voice, and express your affections in a calm and soothing manner. Many family members are compelled by tradition or desire to spend their last moments with a loved one, speaking to them, reassuring them and expressing their love for the person.
Step 6
Prepare family members to let go and say their goodbyes, at least to the dying person, if possible. Telling a loved one it's okay to go, that you love him and will always remember him are just a few things family members can do to help prepare for the imminent death of a loved one.
Tips and Warnings
- Dealing with grief during the death or dying process takes time. Family members may cling to one another for support, but be understanding of different reactions from different family members, depending on age and personal feelings and emotions regarding death.
References
- HospiceNet.org: Preparing for Approaching Death
- KeystoneHospicce.com: Preparing for Approaching Death: Signs and Symptoms
- "How to Care for Aging Parents"; Morris, Virginia; 2004
