Toilet training is a big deal for both toddlers and parents alike. It is a major milestone in the journey to independence for a child. And it can represent a big relief from parents who are happy to be free of diaper-changing responsibilities. But determining exactly when to make the move from diapers to the potty can be a challenge.
Time Frame
In a study of Milwaukee-area children, the median ages for "staying dry during the day" were 32.5 months for girls and 35 months for boys, Dr. Timothy R. Schum and University of Wisconsin colleagues wrote in a study in the journal Pediatrics in 2002. But the "range of normalcy" for attaining various toilet-training skills can vary by as much as a year, according to the researchers. Prior to 1950, children in the United States tended to be toilet-trained by 18 months, according to Babycenter.com, and even today, babies in most other parts of the world complete toilet training before age 2.
Signs
Dr. Alan Greene advises that, rather than going by age, you figure out when your daughter is ready for toilet-learning by watching for certain signs from her. An obvious one is a growing interest in and awareness of bowel movements and urination, as well as the toilet and genitals. Another is an abundance of little moments where your daughter imitates the actions of her parents. Others, according to Greene, include attempts to undress, frustration when objects are not in their place, and pride in accomplishments.
History
The famous pediatrician Dr. Benjamin Spock advocated a looser philosophy to toilet learning starting in the 1950s. Pediatrician Berry Brazelton pushed for an even more relaxed approach in the 1960s, according to Babycenter.com, advising parents to let children go at their own pace in abandoning diapers. His suggestions came at a pivotal moment in history, when disposable diapers were hitting the scene. Since they were more convenient anyway, parents were apt to listen to his viewpoint, and babies gradually began toilet training at a later age.
Misconceptions
Do not make the mistake of thinking that earlier toilet-training means better parenting, Dr. William Sears and nurse Martha Sears of AskDrSears.com advise. The notion that "the earlier baby is eating three squares a day, weaned, toilet trained and independent, the 'better,'" they write, "is nonsense." Another misconception: that you can always motivate your daughter in toilet training by encouraging her to act like a "big girl." Some kids, the Sears say, notice that small children get more attention and are not particularly interested in being "big."
Expert Insight
A high degree of patience may be necessary, according to Greene. "When accidents happen (and they will---poop on the carpet is part of the learning experience), don't scold your child," he writes, "but scoop it up, put it in the potty, and say, 'Soon you'll be able to get it in the potty every time!'" Also, recognize the stage for what it is: a stride toward independence. Toilet training is "a wonderful, bittersweet snapshot of growing up," according to Greene. Changing your daughter's diapers was a key part of each day for both you and her, and that period is coming to an end.
