If you think of anger as a typical response to frustration, it's easier to understand that there are many possible reasons why your child is angry. Parents may not always be aware of the feelings or events that trigger their child's anger, but discerning the cause is an important step toward teaching your child how to cope with this intense emotion.
Feelings
Anger in children is a generic response to a variety of emotions. Preschool children are just learning to identify basic emotions, and most children won't learn to use words to express those emotions until the later elementary years. In the meantime, no matter what they're feeling--lonely, embarrassed, hurt, frustrated or anxious--children will express the feeling as anger.
Attention
Children of every age desperately need attention. If she does not receive positive attention, she settles for any attention and learns that the quickest way to push her parent's attention button is through anger. This process causes anger to become a learned habitual response whether it's appropriate to the situation or not.
Conflict
Conflict with siblings and peers is an unavoidable cause of anger. Another child might take his toy, sit where he wanted to sit or push him out of the way. He may be called names, teased or otherwise bullied. Conflict also arises when adults enforce demands. Any type of conflict can result in anger, especially before he learns to understand and control the emotion.
Development
If children struggle to master a developmental skill or fail to accomplish a task, they become angry. It's normal to test boundaries and this often takes the form of general anger over a rule or restriction. Anger is a typical expression of emerging independence. Perhaps you've told her "No," and she is a 2-year-old who is just learning to control her own world. Teens face even more stress as they begin the process of moving toward adult independence. Combined with the fluctuating hormones of adolescence, angry outbursts are to be expected as she works through normal developmental conflicts.
Insecurity
Feelings of insecurity, from small changes in his daily schedule to major disruptions such a move or divorce, are likely to cause anger. According to information from Scholastic.com, 3- to 5-year-olds may perceive danger even when it's not present, or they may overreact to danger. When they feel threatened, they will often go on the offensive through angry behavior.
Psychological
Anger that is persistent, intense and unprovoked may be caused by ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar disorder and developmental disorders. Unidentified learning disorders like dyslexia and a delay in language may also cause anger. Talk to your pediatrician if anger becomes disruptive to the family or begins to interfere with daily functioning.
