In the year 2000, statistics from the United States Department of Justice indicated that approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are assaulted by an intimate partner or spouse each year in the United States. No marriage is perfect, however, when violence is introduced to the relationship, it can be difficult to recover and regain trust. Knowing the warning signs can help you to identify the potential for spousal abuse.
Step 1
Set an immediate boundary with your spouse. Discuss your feelings about violence and whether it will be tolerated in your relationship. If you have experienced abuse by a partner previously, discuss your experiences, how it made you feel and the related consequences if such violence should occur in your current marriage.
Step 2
Practice healthy communication. Many arguments start and lead one partner to abuse the other when communication is lost, broken or ineffective. Practicing healthy communication involves expressing and accepting honest feedback and communicating openly and consistently with your partner about the issues in your relationship in order to find solutions.
Step 3
Enforce the consequence if violence occurs. After violence has occurred once, it is very common for the perpetrator to promise to reform and to say that he will never do it again. Discussing your boundaries upfront sends a clear message that it is unacceptable. If the violence still occurs, you must enforce the consequence you stated in the beginning. Not sticking to your boundary sends a message to your partner that his behavior can and will be forgiven without consequence.
Step 4
Take a proactive approach to changing negative behavior. If your partner has been violent in the past, consider marital counseling as a tool to help her reinforce positive behavior. People can change, however, in stressful or unanticipated situations, some partners will revert to aggressive, abusive behavior.
Step 5
Find a source of support other than your partner. Many people experience and endure spousal abuse for some time because they feel they have no one to turn to. Sweeping abuse under the rug or trying to protect you or your family's image could prove fatal. It is not okay to accept abuse of any kind, from any one. If abuse occurs and you don't feel safe, go to your source of support to help you identify solutions.
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