Most parents have an idea in mind of how they would like their child to treat other people. We all prefer spending time with a kind, sweet, loving child over a mean, rude, hostile child. If your child starts to show negative behavior, it can be frustrating and embarrassing. Your child may be hurting your feelings, and may be driving other children away, with his mean behavior and lack of caring and sympathy. Do not give up and think that your child is naturally mean. With the proper parenting and discipline, your child will improve his attitude.
Step 1
Use your own kind behavior as a positive example. Do not hit or spank your child as punishment, to avoid your child thinking that violence in any way is acceptable. Pay close attention when you are speaking to others, and make sure that your tone of voice is kind and polite. Be respectful to your child, spouse and others. Keep your anger in check, and give yourself a time out if needed when a heated situation erupts. Show your child that you are able to stop, breathe and deal with your emotions in a calm manner, rather than being mean and hurting someone's feelings.
Step 2
Enforce appropriate discipline when your child displays mean, disrespectful or rude behavior. Put a toddler in a time out if she hits you or a playmate, or if she calls someone a mean name. Explain why you are giving her a time out. Place her in an out-of-the-way area, 1 minute for every year of age. Take away privileges if an older child is mean to you or a teacher, or bullies other children. Explain the rules in advance, and stick to your word. Try taking a cell phone, television privileges or playing with friends.
Step 3
Give praise to your child when he does display acts of kindness, so he will continue with the positive behavior. Tell him how kind and sweet he is when he hugs you. Let him know that you think he is a good friend when he shares toys with siblings or playmates.
Step 4
Talk to your child about her social life. Look for clues about where aggressive or cruel actions might be coming from, as she may be watching another child be mean and mimicking this, or may be angry at how she is being treated at school and retaliating. Talk to your child's teachers about how the social environment is at school, and his opinion on how you can help your child succeed.
References
- GreatSchools: Reinforcing Small Changes in Your Child's Behavior
- The Nemours Foundation: Teaching Kids Not to Bully
- "Laying Down the Law: The 25 Laws of Parenting to Keep Your Kids on Track, Out of Trouble, and (Pretty Much) Under Control" by Ruth Peters
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