There are various parenting styles, ranging from an authoritative type that values obedience and uses strict discipline to permissive parenting that imposes few limitations and little or no correction. Assertive parenting is a flexible style that is well suited to a rapidly changing world, Sue Dinwiddie, MA, explains on KidSource.com. It doesn't impose a concrete concept of right and wrong. Instead, the Sahil.org child advocacy site explains that it helps children learn to make choices. It takes certain skills to use assertive parenting effectively.
Give the Child As Many Opportunities to Make Choices As Possible
Assertive parenting is focused on teaching children to make choices and to take responsibility for the outcome. Dinwiddie says the parent can discuss the situation with the youngster before any action is taken. The child can identify various options, and the parent can guide the child through a discussion of the probable outcomes of each choice. Then the child can select her preferred choice based on this analytical approach.
Communicate Your Expectations Clearly
Assertive parenting involves being very clear in your expectations of your child, according to MyOutofControlTeen.com. A child cannot behavior properly if she does not know exactly what that entails. For example, you might say, "Clean your room" and then be upset when she makes her bed, does a cursory pick-up of the floor and considers the job done. To her, that may be "clean." Specify what you want by saying, "Change the linens, vacuum the floor, put your clothes away and take out the trash." Then she knows exactly what you want her to do and can perform accordingly.
Impose Cooling-Off Time in Response to Outbursts
An assertive parent directs her child to a cooling-off period when the youngster is throwing a tantrum or having an emotional outburst. Dinwiddie says this takes the place of punishment. Instead, the child is taught that expressing emotions is okay but not in an inappropriate way. The cool-off provides times for reflect so he can calm down and decide on a more effective way to express himself.
Impose Consequences Directly Related to the Misbehavior
Assertive parenting involves using discipline that is directly tied into what the child did wrong, Dinwiddie explains. For example, if the child breaks something, he would be required to fix it or to earn the money to do so. The parent might impose the consequence, or she might discuss the situation with the child and get his input on what an appropriate punishment would be.
