Many parents notice that although their children appear to have been raised similarly, they act in very different ways and have varying personalities. In the 1920s, a psychologist named Alfred Adler began looking into the effect of a child's birth order in relation to personality. His thought was that because family is the first group people learn to function in, their positions in that group contribute to their personalities. Although some parents agree that Adler's sibling birth order theory applies to their families, others do not.
First-Born Children
According to the birth order theory, the first-born and oldest child is reliable and aggressive, with a need for approval. This is perhaps because the first-born starts off getting all the parents' attention and then has to work to gain it back when new siblings enter the family. A first-born child has a tendency to be helpful and responsible, possibly because he is used to being a helper when it comes to younger siblings. First-borns are also thought to be natural leaders: More than half the U.S. presidents are first-born children.
Middle Children
Middle children do not have the title of "first-born" or "baby" of the family and are typically more creative individuals to get attention. According to Parenthood.com, they also tend to be laid-back, inventive and secretive. Psychologist Kevin Leman adds that they can be hesitant to share their feelings and are skilled peacemakers.
Youngest Children
The youngest child in a family is thought to be social, outgoing, comical and entertaining. She may be considered coddled by parents and older siblings and as a result has lower expectations for herself. Youngest children are thought to love attention and are also typically the most financially irresponsible of other siblings. Some of these characteristics may be a result of parents becoming more laid-back after having previous children.
Variables
Many variables affect the birth order theory. If a youngest child is born a significant number of years after the previous child, that child may demonstrate more characteristics of a first-born. Several other factors can contribute to personality, such as the parent's personalities, a child's health issues or a family crisis. Adoptions and blended families make the influence of birth order difficult to perceive. Gender differences may have an effect as well. For example, a first-born boy may exhibit some first-born characteristics, even if he has an older sister.
Parenting
To complement or offset certain characteristics of first-born, middle or youngest children, parents can take certain approaches to raising their children. The oldest child should be given alone time and only a reasonable amount of responsibilities, because many parents pile on too many and rely on the oldest for such tasks as babysitting younger siblings. Parents can focus on drawing out the feelings of a possibly introverted middle child and allow him to make decisions so he doesn't feel overshadowed by older and younger siblings. The youngest child will benefit from being given more responsibility, similar to the amount that would be given to the first-born.
