Disciplining a troubled child is as much art as it is science, but there are strategies you can use to try and persuade your child into complying with the rules. You may need to try several different forms of the same strategy or work with your child's counselor to come up with a discipline that not only separates your child from triggering behaviors, but also teaches him to learn to avoid them entirely.
Step 1
Understand that a difficult child can be difficult to discipline. This step is essential, according to physician Stanley Turecki in his book, "The Difficult Child," because it allows the parent to cope better if the expectation of compliance is low. However, Turecki reports that it is possible to successfully parent a difficult or troubled child, so don't lose hope.
Step 2
Educate yourself about your child's diagnosis if she has one, or about her behavior in general. Observe your child without judgement for a week or two, and keep a record of the behaviors that are most in need of discipline. Write down when they occur, how you chose to discipline the behavior and the outcome of the discipline. By looking at your chart at the end of a few weeks, you'll better understand your child's motivation for bad behavior. For instance, behavioral analyst Mary Barbera writes in her book, "The Verbal Behavior Approach: Teaching Children with Autism and Related Disorders," some children misbehave to get out of doing other tasks, so a punishment that takes that child away from the task would not be effective because the child ultimately got what she wanted.
Step 3
Make a plan for discipline and go over it with your child. If your child loves video games, a punishment could be that he gets one warning to comply with a request and if he doesn't, he will lose video games for a prespecified period of time. Write the list of punishments in a place that your child can see them. Children who are troubled or difficult often don't have the ability to react appropriately in the moment, so the more visual and verbal reminders you can give, the better your child will be able to work on self-control.
Step 4
Be consistent. More than anything else you may try, consistency in doling out discipline is key to making your program work, notes Dr. Turecki. He reports that inconsistency always translates to a lack of parental control.
Step 5
Give yourself a time limit to see if a particular set of behaviors and consequences is working. If your child's behavior is improving, keep up with the program. If the behavior gets worse or stays the same, you'll need to reassess your child's triggers and wants and come up with a new plan. You will need several weeks to see if your discipline plan is working, because difficult and troubled children will test the limits of the new plan to see if you are serious about it.
Things You'll Need
- Journal
