Parents, teachers and other adults play a large part in building self-confidence in children. Children learn from what they are taught about self-worth and self-esteem, and often low self-confidence is a reaction to poor treatment or harsh words. Help your child gain self-confidence by praising his successes, helping him learn the value of his mistakes and otherwise preparing him to be a self-assured member of society. He will carry the gift of self-confidence long after he grows up.
Step 1
Practice positive responses, even when you're angry or upset, says Oregon State University. Take care not to make personal attacks when reprimanding. Don't say, "Why don't you ever clean your room? You're so lazy!" Instead, say, "It makes me upset when you don't clean your room. I understand you're tired after school, but you need to care for your things." Building self-confidence doesn't mean never disciplining your child, just watching your words more carefully when doing so.
Step 2
Offer genuine praise when it is deserved, but take care not to offer praise when it is unwarranted. A child will suspect when you're praising to make up for his lack of skill in an area. Reserve praise for when it is well deserved; when it isn't, offer condolences and offers to help. A child who has tasted success will know she's done well when she earns positive, genuine praise for her work.
Step 3
Pay attention to your child. A child who is constantly ignored and rebuffed will learn to think that his opinions, stories and experiences aren't important, and neither is he. Set aside time each day, whether it's at the dinner table, after school or before bed, during which he can take the floor and tell you anything. This practice fosters communication and self worth, letting him know that you'll listen and give him your undivided attention.
Step 4
Allow your child to make her own mistakes. Although it may seem counterintuitive, suffering losses and dealing with them play as much a part in forming your child's self-confidence as success does. Learning to come back from losses or mistakes and finding ways to be better teaches a child that she can do anything she works at, helping build her self-confidence and letting her know it's okay to make mistakes, says Daniel Meier, assistant professor of Elementary Education at San Francisco State University.
Step 5
Act as a positive example to your child by exhibiting self-confidence. If you're constantly putting yourself down and becoming angry and depressed when mistakes happen, he'll learn that this response is acceptable. Instead, keep your confidence high, says Dr. William Sears, associate clinical professor of Pediatrics at the University of California, Irvine, School of Medicine. If you aren't fully confident, you may need to work on your own confidence issues before you expect your child to build his confidence.
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