An angry child may act out in aggression, feel depressed or become angry easily. As a parent, you can play a role in helping your child find more positive outlets for anger and teach him to become less angry over time through prevention, listening skills and appropriate reaction. You might be frustrated and lash out at your angry child, but the best way to deal with the problem is to show your child understanding and empathy so he knows you still love him, even when he gets angry.
Step 1
Find the cause of your child's anger. You might find that there is a definite pattern in seemingly unrelated instances that set her off to become angry. She may lash out when she is being ignored or when she feels embarrassed. You may find she gets the most angry when she is denied something. Understanding what triggers the child's anger can help you isolate the behavior, prevent it or teach her to deal with it in a more constructive way.
Step 2
Empathize with him about the cause of his anger even if you don't agree with it. This legitimizes the anger and calms the child. For instance, instead of saying, "You were mad because you didn't get picked in gym class? That's silly." Try, "I can see how not getting picked would make you mad. It makes you feel embarrassed." This gives reason to the child's anger and shows that you understand the situation.
Step 3
Offer a listening ear and invite your child to get out all of her angry thoughts. On AskDrSears.com, Dr. William Sears, associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of California, Irvine, School of Medicine notes that when you urge your child to suppress her anger, it will be manifested in other more destructive ways. It is best to allow her to yell and feel angry for a few minutes than to have her suppress her anger and feel bad for a longer amount of time.
Step 4
Show your child alternative ways to express anger or how to channel anger into constructive methods, says Lynne Namka, Ed. D. of AngriesOut.com. Sports can be a good outlet for energetic children. Karate may help teach a child to control his anger and have more self-discipline. Urge him to choose something that he likes that he can do when he feels angry such as humming a song, throwing a football or listening to music to calm down.
Step 5
Set a good example around your own home on how to deal with anger issues. If your child sees you becoming irate while driving or angry at your partner or your children, she'll assume that it's an acceptable way to express anger. On GreatSchools.org, Sam Goldstein, Ph.D. and Robert Brooks, Ph.D. note that a child is more likely to deal with anger effectively if she sees you finding better coping mechanisms as the parent.
Step 6
Consider a family or child therapist if your child's anger issues don't seem to improve with help and practice. He may have underlying issues that he needs to work through to get his anger issues under control. For a child therapist in your area, see the Resources section.
