Some people get lucky, and potty training their kids is a breeze, while others have to be much more patient and resourceful. Little ones can get attached to their diapers. Why is it that some toddlers are afraid of using the potty, uninterested or outright hostile toward it?
Just Not Ready Yet
It may be the most uncomplicated reason of all: The toddler may just not be ready yet, physically or mentally. If a child's muscles are not yet developed enough to be able to control his bladder or bowels, all the potty training in the world won't help. And if the child doesn't understand directions, it won't work, either. In this case, it's just a matter of needing a little more time.
Fears
Many children are afraid of using the toilet. They see their excrement as part of themselves---they don't yet understand that it's waste material and that it's good to get rid of it. Renowned pediatrician Dr. Sears recommends buying a potty chair rather than trying to get the child to go in a regular toilet. "Many children normally fear having a bowel movement in the adult toilet because they are afraid of seeing 'parts of themselves' come out of their body and go swoosh down the drain," he says. Books and DVDs about using the potty may help alleviate these fears.
Doesn't Want to Stop Playing
Another common problem is that the child doesn't want to stop a fun activity to go use the bathroom. In that case, try continuing the fun in the bathroom. Make the bathroom a place where you read together, tell stories or put on puppet shows.
Constipation
Constipation can make it difficult and uncomfortable for a child to use the potty. If stool is infrequent and hard, try adding more fiber to the child's diet, in the form of fruits and vegetables, whole grain breads, and cereal, and making sure she's getting plenty of liquids. If the problem persists, a doctor may suggest a laxative.
Stress
Times of high stress and change, such as moving house, a new sibling's arrival or a new day care, can interfere with a child's potty training. It's best to avoid starting potty training during stressful times, if possible.
Parental Inconsistency
Potty training takes work on both the child's part and the guardian's part. Children need consistency---try setting a timer for every 20 minutes to start, and when the timer goes off, it's time to sit on the potty for a minute or two. Then restart the timer. It's important to use plenty of praise and no shaming for accidents.
