Bullying is a serious problem for school-aged children. Most often, parenting advice is extended to those who have children who are being bullied, while the parents of the bullies are ignored. As a parent of the bully, you likely feel guilt and shame because of your child's actions. Instead of ignoring the behavior and hoping it will go away, face the problem head on and talk to your child about being respectful and courteous. It takes a special, proactive parent to stop his child from bullying others.
Step 1
Take the bullying seriously, says KidsHealth.org. Parents who are ashamed of their child's behavior may indicate that "boys will be boys" or try to ignore the behavior. Instead, talk with your child's teachers or supervisors to understand the situation so that you can have a conversation with your child about what happened.
Step 2
Talk to your child in a casual setting about the instance where she was the bully. Ask her questions about why she bullied another child, and how she felt when she bullies. This can give you greater insight into her motives and the things that trigger the improper behavior. Perhaps she feels bad about herself, or she believes she is receiving negative attention from a teacher. Explain better ways to deal with those feelings, like talking to an adult.
Step 3
Give serious consequences for future bullying, suggests the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies. Whether you decide to remove extracurricular privileges or add chores around the house, the consequences should be deep enough to discourage the child from bullying again. Exhibit an attitude of no tolerance when it comes to bullying, and be firm and consistent with the consequences or punishments.
Step 4
Initiate an apology with the child that your child has bullied. Call the school administration and ask for a meeting, or arrange with the other child's parents. Taking the time to ensure that your child sees the pain that he caused, and making sure that he rectifies the situation, however awkward it may be, will be a lesson in regret and redemption for your child. Knowing that after bullying he'll have to face the child he hurt may be enough for your child to stop.
Step 5
Act as a good example to your child. If she sees you using aggressive bully tactics on other family members or in your daily life, she'll assume that it's an acceptable and effective way to get what she wants. Show respect to other people, and use polite manners to indicate the proper way to treat other people.
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