The constant, tear-free crying, elongated words and high-pitched tones are hallmarks of whining. Some will tell you that whining is a stage every child goes through. In reality, whining is a reinforced behavior that requires a consistent parental plan to overcome. Children often whine when they do not initially get their way in hopes of wearing down a parent, and many times that is what happens. Parents must be strong in the face of this behavior in order to stop it.
Step 1
Empathize with the situation that causes the whining. Your child may be employing this behavior because she feels that she is not getting enough of your attention. For instance, if you are taking a telephone call, working on the computer or cooking dinner, she may feel lonely and unimportant at that moment. Once you understand the motivation for whining, it is much easier to deal with it without frustration.
Step 2
Avoid known whining triggers. There are almost always patterns to behavior. Your child may begin whining when he is hungry, tired or when you need him to end one activity and progress to another. By anticipating a whining event, you can work to prevent it.
Step 3
React calmly and positively rather than speaking in a harsh voice when your child whines. For example, if your child wants to play but you need to get her dressed, let her know in a pleasant, upbeat voice that she can play as soon as you get home but that she needs to dress now and go "bye bye." Then dress her and ignore further whining. She will stop once she knows you are not going to change your mind.
Step 4
Give your child your full attention when addressing his issue and then move on. Let him explain the problem while you actively listen. Then, in an even tone, let him know what can or cannot be done. Taking the time to listen and respond before you leave the situation will prove to your child that you care and that you are willing to listen and solve the problem. Don't respond too long or the result may be a time-consuming argument.
Step 5
Discipline your child for bad behavior connected with the whining. If your child continues to whine, throws a temper-tantrum and refuses to obey, you must discipline him. Let him know what the consequence will be for breaking rules and enforce them when bad behavior occurs.
Step 6
Praise you child every time she behaves without whining in a difficult situation. If your child usually whines about going to bed on time, but sometimes goes without objection, make sure that you let her know how happy her cooperative behavior makes you. Children love to please their parents, though it may not always seem that way.
Step 7
Compromise with your child whenever possible. Though his whining may make you want to end the matter with no concession, it is better if you can find a middle ground. A compromise means you both win and each can feel good about the outcome.
