How to Help Victims of Domestic Abuse

You notice marks and bruises on your friend. While she may write it off as clumsiness, you know better. Your friend is in a domestic abuse situation. Her husband or boyfriend is battering her, and the situation may be getting worse. You know something must be done and feel it is up to you as a close friend to provide help. Figuring out how to assist her can be a problem. Learn what measures should be taken to get your friend out of her dangerous predicament.

Step 1

Give your friend the opportunity to open up to you. Gently ask her about her situation while letting her know you care and are not judging her. Allow her time to trust you with the information but if you sense the abuse is worsening tell her your suspicions.

Step 2

Gather information for your friend. Research domestic abuse to have facts to share with your friend. Also, look for resources for battered women to utilize in your community including shelters. Don't give up if she is unwilling to accept your information at first. Hang on to it, for there may come a time when she will ask for it.

Step 3

Offer the abused all the support you can provide. This includes a place to stay, child care and financial support if possible. Don't feel guilty if you are unable to offer this level of help. Do what is possible for you.

Step 4

Respect the privacy of your friend. Don't tell others about the situation and don't discuss it with them if they guess at it or question you. Prove yourself to be a dependable friend.

Step 5

Protect your friend by being careful regarding correspondence with her. Remember that the abuser may check her text messages, emails and call logs. Make sure your conversations with her cannot be accessed.

Step 6

Offer to be "on call" for your friend if she needs to leave her residence. Take measures to make sure you are not putting yourself in danger. If it is an emergency situation in which the abuser is present, insist she allow you to bring the police with you.

Step 7

Pack a suitcase with essentials to have on hand in case your friend needs it. Include soap, toothbrush and paste, deodorant, change of clothes, a pre-paid cell phone and a little cash. If your friend decides to leave in a rush, she will need these things.

References

Article reviewed by Patricia A. Carter Last updated on: Jan 26, 2010

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