Jealousy in a Relationship

According to AskMen.com, jealousy, like paranoia and aggression, has different levels of severity. For some people, however, jealousy is a serious issue that, if not properly addressed, can cause a permanent rift between you and your partner and negatively affect your future relationships as well. Fortunately, there are ways you can control your jealousy in relationships.

Identification

Relationship jealousy involves being suspicious of your partner's interactions with specific people, his choice of clothing and the places your partner goes.

Types

AskMen.com classifies jealousy in relationships as falling into one of three types, or degrees of intensity. The first type is "cute jealousy," which is not necessarily a negative thing. Cute jealousy encompasses the idea that it is perfectly normal to feel suspicious of your partner from time to time. For example, it is a normal reaction for a woman to not enjoy having her boyfriend or husband drooling over a woman the two of them have met while eating out. The second type of jealousy is "healthy jealousy," which involves a woman, for example, expressing her concern about having another woman flirting with her husband. "Obsessive jealousy" is when violence becomes a factor of someone's jealousy, causing a man, for example, to constantly question his wife's loyalty, to the point that he might even hit her if he has the slightest suspicion of her being unfaithful (without even necessarily having evidence of this).

Causes

There are a couple of potential reasons for jealousy in relationships. If your partner has cheated on you in the past, this can certainly be a valid reason for jealousy. Some people become jealous of current partners due to having past experiences of partners cheating on them. A person who gets jealous of his partner could have also cheated in the past himself, and might wish to ensure that this does not happen to him. More often, however, jealousy is a reflection of a jealous person's own self-esteem issues.

Significance

Jealousy can be a destructive emotion for people who cannot control it, as it seriously undermines the underlying trust two people have in a relationship. Jealousy in relationships can lead to many arguments and even breakups. It can also escalate into violence, as in the case of obsessive jealousy.

Prevention/Solution

There are ways you can learn to control your jealousy in relationships. You should learn from your past experiences that simply getting upset with your partner does not help the situation. It is also important to focus on what is happening in the actual moment, rather than letting your imagination run rampant. Remind yourself that your current partner is with you because he loves you, so there is no need to feel so threatened. You can also ask a third party about your behavior toward your partner to get feedback on whether your jealousy is justifiable.

References

Article reviewed by DeborahO Last updated on: May 18, 2011

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