Getting help for an abusive relationship takes courage and planning. Numerous resources exist that can help you talk about your fears, plan your escape and keep you and any children safe from your abusive partner. Once you've made the decision to stop the cycle of abuse, friends, law enforcement and even people you don't know can lend a listening ear, help you stay protected and leave the situation so you can start a new life, free from fear, pain and abuse.
Step 1
Recognize your relationship as abusive. As the Mayo Clinic states, abuse can be verbal, emotional or physical. He may constantly put you down, try to control your behavior, be jealous of your daily interactions with other people, or hurt you physically. All of these are signs of abuse and should not be tolerated. Even if he apologizes, recognize those actions for what they are: a way to hurt you so you don't have the courage to leave the relationship.
Step 2
Make a plan to leave, suggests Standford University's Sexual Violence Advisory Board. Your plan might include notifying a friend or family member of your intent to leave and asking them to hold money for you, planning to stay with them, or arranging a place for your children to stay while you are leaving. Gather information about shelters or other safe places that you can stay when you leave.
Step 3
Call an abuse hotline. There you'll find volunteers who can advise you on things like where to go if you try and leave, how to recognize the signs of nonphysical abuse, what to tell your children and they'll offer general support for the situation. The National Domestic Violence Hotline phone number is 1-800-799-SAFE. See the Resources section for other available abuse hotlines.
Step 4
Tell a friend or family member what is happening. They can offer support, and it can help you feel accountable for needing to leave the situation. It can help to receive validation from someone you trust that you are being wrongly hurt and need help.
Step 5
Visit an emergency room or doctor's office immediately after being physically abused. They are responsible for writing a domestic violence report and contacting law enforcement right away. They may be able to do that which you are scared or not strong enough to do for yourself.
Step 6
Call the police department when you're ready to leave. They can offer a police escort who can be with you when you leave the situation, so your partner can't hurt you in any way, notes the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They may also offer you a restraining order to protect you even after you've left.
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