Couples who have not succeeded in bearing a child of their own sometimes explore surrogate parenting as one way of seeing their dream come true. Surrogate parenting means that another woman agrees to become pregnant and carry a baby to term for a couple who is not able to do so. While a surrogate pregnancy might seem like a tailor-made solution for a childless couple, they must carefully consider this option and all the possible ramifications.
Significance
Surrogate mothers usually fall within the normal range on personality testing, especially the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory or MMPI, according to an article in the March 2005 Journal of Social Issues. These women generally place a greater value on helping an infertile couple than on how other people might view carrying a child for somebody else. In the same journal article, Janice C. Ciccarelli reports that some surrogate mothers were not as satisfied as they had hoped with their experiences. These women had expected to develop a higher level of closeness with the intended mothers than what actually developed.
Surrogate mothers often undergo psychological therapy in order to help them move through the process more easily. Giving up the baby at birth, especially if the surrogate has begun to develop an emotional bond with the child, can be difficult.
Process
Conception takes place through in vitro fertilization, or IVF. In some cases, the eggs of the intended mother and sperm of the intended father are brought together in a laboratory petri dish. The resulting embryos are then implanted in the surrogate's uterus. Alternatives include fertilizing the intended mother's eggs with sperm from an anonymous donor or using donor eggs--perhaps from the surrogate--and the intended father's sperm.
Because more than one egg may become fertilized during the IVF process, the couple and surrogate must agree on how many eggs would be implanted.
Psychological Effects
Sometimes other problems arise for surrogate mothers. If they don't have sufficient support from a husband/partner or from their immediate families, they could feel alone as the pregnancy progresses. Because of the physical symptoms of pregnancy and the continual fluctuation of pregnancy hormones, the feelings of isolation can seem more pronounced.
Some surrogate mothers experience grief at giving up the baby. Reasons for this include a lack of psychological support, dissatisfaction with the surrogacy process or a combination of these factors.
Legal Aspects
When couples hire a surrogate who later decides not to give up the baby, they can sue. The judge typically bases a decision on the child's best interests. In a famous case of contested surrogacy, Mary Beth Whitehead reneged on her contractual agreement to relinquish the baby she carried, asserting that she was the child's real mother. The couple with whom she had contracted, the Sterns, sued Whitehead and won custody of the child, Melissa, legally terminating Whitehead's parental rights. Mrs. Stern became Melissa's adoptive mother.
Warning
"Baby selling" is illegal. In many states, it is a felony punishable by a heavy fine and several years in prison. Therefore, a couple pays a surrogate mother for her services in carrying the pregnancy to term and delivering the baby. The couple and surrogate mother agree on the fee to be paid. It's wise to negotiate the agreement with the help of an attorney.
Because the law does not allow baby selling, selling body parts, baby trade, rental of the surrogate's uterus or reproductive prostitution, the legal contract must be very clear about reimbursing the surrogate mother only for her services to the family.
If a potential surrogate decides not to go forward with the agreement, she will not be paid. If a surrogate mother miscarries during the pregnancy, she generally receives a partial payment for her services.
