Every parent knows that a child needs discipline to differentiate between right and wrong. This helps them learn the correct way to react to mistakes they make. Discipline comes in many forms such as verbal, body language or physical contact. Discipline is interpreted differently by each parent. Some believe in minimal discipline, while others use a harsh physical approach. In some cases, a parent may cross the line with their physical and emotional behavior resulting in abuse to the child rather than discipline.
Exercising Discipline over Abuse
Physical abuse occurs when someone else physically harms or touches a child in an out-of-control way. It can be as simple as pinching them under the arm or as obvious as a blunt force blow to the head or torso. Some caregivers feel they are disciplining a child when they physically abuse them, when in fact the child is learning that hitting is a form of punishment. Neglect is also a form of abuse. This occurs when the parent or caregiver fails to meet the daily living needs of a child. A caregiver may think that forcing a child to go to bed without dinner or leaving a child in an unsafe environment in a car or on the side of the street as teaching them a lesson in discipline when in fact it can be very unsafe. Constructive discipline includes discussing the problem and creating a mutual goal between caregiver and child of how to correct it.
Positive Forms of Discipline
Understanding positive forms of discipline will help parents and caregivers discipline a child in a safe manner. When a child misbehaves or makes a mistake, verbal recognition of what they did and how not to do it again is a safe form of discipline. For children who act out physically, removing them from the situation with a firm but non-violent reprimand helps enforce understanding of the misbehavior. Spanking, name calling, pulling, hitting or slapping are not acceptable forms of child discipline and can be considered forms of abuse.
Coping Alternatives to Abuse
For caregivers who are abusive to their children or feel they could be, learning coping mechanisms will help them divert anger and turn it into positive discipline. Taking a step back from a screaming child or a child who has done wrong helps the parent not react on impulse through hitting or yelling. Thinking about handling the situation by disciplining in a calm, yet authoritative manner prevents abuse. Using time out discipline methods where the child is separated but not segregated from the household is also a positive discipline method. Having the child sit and think about their problem without being sent away out of the room prevents neglect.
Seeking Help
Even if you are not physically hurting or neglecting a child now but feel your anger could get out of control, seek assistance. A professional social worker or child psychologist will help you evaluate your coping mechanisms relating to stress reactions with the child and offer help. They will also help you determine if your anger or discipline toward a child is carried out in a healthy way. For severe cases with out of control children, a medical evaluation may be suggested to rule out childhood psychological issues.
Effects
Knowing the difference between abusive behavior what will harm a child and discipline that will help them is important when raising children. One easy way to not question how you discipline a child is to ask yourself if you would want someone to discipline you that way. If you wouldn't want a judge or other adult to hit you or call you names, then you don't do that to a child. Treating your child like you would any other adult or child is the first step in knowing the difference between abuse and discipline.
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