When an event shakes the foundation of your friendship, it can be hard to find a way to pick up the pieces and rebuild your relationship. Sometimes, you may wonder if the friendship is even worth the effort of saving it. When it comes to deciding whether you should fix a broken friendship, a mix of logic and emotion will help you discover what you really want to do.
Step 1
Think about what you have in common. Are you friends because you have a ton of shared interests and live next door to each other, or are you friends because you happen to work at the same company? Consider the factors that brought you to your friendship, and decide how relevant they are to your life.
Step 2
Ask yourself how your friend usually makes you feel. If being around your friend is a downer because she's negative, competitive or otherwise hard to hang out with, you might be better off without your friendship. On the other hand, if your friend makes you feel happy, confident and excited when you hang out together, your friendship might be worth saving.
Step 3
Be honest about how much effort each of you puts into your relationship. If she's always the one calling you and making plans, you may have already checked out of your relationship. If your friend is the one who's never available when you want to connect, she may not be a friend worth keeping.
Step 4
Consider the history of your relationship and look at the ways your friend has emotionally and physically supported you over the course of your friendship. Has he helped you move three times and taken care of your dog when you had to go out of town? Did she spend weeks listening to you cry and complain after your bad breakup? If your friend has consistently been there for you when you needed him, putting your friendship back together might be worth the effort.
Step 5
Imagine your life without your friend. How would it feel not to have to talk to him tomorrow? Six months from now? Ten years from now? If the thought makes you sad, it's worth making an effort to preserve your friendship. If you feel like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders, you have your answer.
Tips and Warnings
- If you do decide to end a friendship, consider letting it taper off by not returning calls or getting in touch instead of breaking things off officially. If your friendship drifts away, it's much easier to revive it later if you change your mind about being friends.
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