Toddlers often lose their cool and throw temper tantrums at home, in the grocery store, at the mall or at day care. A toddler throws a temper tantrum for a variety of reasons, including fear, anxiety, exhaustion or a desire to assert his autonomy. A temper tantrum may be embarrassing for you, but your toddler is simply trying to communicate a problem. Taking the time to understand the cause of the tantrum and then using your words to validate the cause to your toddler can help end the tantrum and encourage him to communicate more effectively.
Step 1
Understand the cause of the temper tantrum. If you're in the grocery store and your toddler suddenly has a kicking and screaming fit because you won't buy candy, think about whether the tantrum is really about candy. She could just be tired or unhappy to be at the grocery store. Knowing the underlying cause of the tantrum, not just what triggered it, can help you remedy the problem and talk to your toddler about it.
Step 2
Allow your toddler to release his frustrations through yelling and crying. As long as he isn't hurting anybody, give him a chance to express himself. At first, your gut reaction may be to pick him up off the floor and hurry him out of the store and out of the line of sight of other people. However, giving him the chance to emote is an important lesson in communication and can help the tantrum dissolve sooner than if you were to try to stop him.
Step 3
Speak to your toddler in an animated voice about the cause of the temper tantrum, using short words that your toddler can understand, recommends Dr. Harvey Karp, author of "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." For instance, get down to her level and say loudly, "You want candy! Candy! You want Mom to go! Get candy!" Hearing you voice her concerns should calm her down enough to stop screaming.
Step 4
Distract him from the tantrum once he's calmer by directing his attention to something else, finding a small toy in your diaper bag, singing a song or telling a story so that he forgets about the temper tantrum entirely.
Step 5
Avoid physical punishment for temper tantrums, warns KidsHealth.org. Physical punishment only shows your child that exerting force on someone else is an effective and acceptable way to deal with frustrating situations. Instead, maintain your self-control, and remind her to use her words to communicate with you.
