Sooner or later, you might find yourself feeling helpless when someone close to you is struggling to cope with the death of a spouse, child, parent, sibling or other relative or friend. It can feel horrible to be unprepared in these situations, not knowing what to say or do to comfort this person. Because every person grieves differently, it is important to be sensitive to the needs of each person you try to comfort. However, some methods for comforting the grieving are universal.
Step 1
Allow the grieving person to express his feelings and to talk about the grief he is experiencing. Listen without judging, interrupting or trying to offer him advice.
Step 2
Be patient with the changing moods of the grieving person. Understand that it is normal for someone who is grieving to go back and forth between numbness, sadness, anger and acceptance.
Step 3
Give the grieving person as much time as she needs to properly and fully mourn her loss. Do not tell her to "let it go" or "get over it," as this will not help her heal any faster and could actually aggravate her wounds.
Step 4
Ask the grieving person how you can help. Try not to become frustrated if the person does not know exactly what he needs.
Step 5
Offer this person some suggestions of how you might be able to help. For example, perhaps you could do some errands or tasks for her, give her more space or, alternatively, spend more time with her.
Step 6
Show affection, including hand holding and hugs, if the grieving person seems receptive to this. Try not to become irritated if he does not respond to your affection. Understand that this attitude will eventually pass.
Step 7
Suggest that the grieving person to join a local support group for the bereaved.
Step 8
Encourage this person to seek professional help if he feels so depressed that he cannot function in his daily activities. Help him set up an appointment with an appropriate medical professional to discuss medications he can take or counseling options.
Tips and Warnings
- There is no "right" amount of time to grieve a loss; this period varies from person to person. Be sensitive to significant dates, including holidays, birthdays and the anniversaries of the death or loss, as the grieving person might find these times especially challenging.
References
- Beliefnet: 10 Ways to Offer Solace
- "Comfort: A Journey Through Grief"; Ann Hood; 2008
