Kids are not born knowing good manners. They learn how to be mannerly through imitating what they see and parental guidance. They can start learning basic good manners at an early age, and this capacity will be expanded as they grow older, go to school and start interacting with more people. Enforcing good manners can be a challenge at times if kids see other children display bad manners, but they will retain their good manners if you teach them well and reinforce positive behavior.
Definition
Good manners for kids are based on the concept of respecting others. This includes treating others courteously and being respectful of their rights. Authors Dr. David Freidenberg and Deanna Chew-Freidenberg, Ph.D., explain that kids should learn basic manners, such as saying "please" and "thank you" and properly greeting visitors to the home. They can also learn to eat properly at the table. They should learn behaviors that show respect, such as waiting for their turn, and not do things to hurt others, such as name-calling. This concept can be expanded into learning the principles of good sportsmanship as they get older and helping others in simple ways, such as holding the door for someone whose hands are full.
Benefits
Mannerly children make a positive impression on others. A well-behaved youngster is welcome just about everywhere, and kids who are respectful of others will have more playmates. Good manners generally stick with a kid as he grows up. In adulthood, he will continue to make a positive impression, which is useful in personal relationships, work and other areas of life.
Education
Psychologist and author Dr. Alex Packer recommends incorporating manners into games and other learning opportunities. For example, you can occasionally hold a formal dinner at home as a way of practicing proper table manners. Dr. Packer advises reinforcing positive behavior when they exhibit it rather than lecturing kids about good manners, which can cause them to tune out. Praise them when appropriate by saying things like, "That was very kind of you to help Mrs. Jones carry her groceries in from the car," or, "I'm proud of you for sharing your toys with your sister."
Examples
You can teach your child good manners, but they may not sink in completely unless you model what you tell him, according to FamilyEducation.com. Kids learn by imitating what they see, and your child will be confused if you tell her one thing but do something completely different yourself. Pay attention to your own manners, and act in the same way you want your child to act. Point out examples, such as, "See how I stopped to let that other car come out of the driveway? It's good to help others when you can," or, "That line certainly was long, but we were patient and waited our turn."
Warning
A mannerly kid may quickly learn bad manners when exposed to other youngsters who are not as well behaved. You cannot keep your child away from every bad influence, but you can let him know that you will not tolerate inappropriate behavior, even if other children can get away with it with their parents. Ask questions that make him think about how others view bad manners, such as, "What do you think other people think about your friend Chelsea when she acts like that? Do you want others to think of you that way, too?"
