How To Help Kids Make Friends

Making friends and participating in social groups is an important part of child development. According to Robert Kail, author of "Children and Their Development," childhood friendships are based on common interests and mutual liking. The ability to maintain close friendships helps support overall functioning and mental well-being. Children who are rejected by their peers often experience low self-esteem, sadness, loneliness and social discontent. Fortunately, socialization is a skill that can be learned. Assist your child in making friends by building social skills through encouragement, modeling, role playing, and participation in peer groups and activities.

Step 1

Identify your child's social strengths and weaknesses. Build his or her self-esteem by encouraging qualities that lead to social acceptance, such as cooperation, honesty, kindness and respect. It is important to be equally aware of the child's weaknesses so that these skills can be taught and practiced.

Step 2

Engage with the child as their playmate, and demonstrate positive social skills, such as kindness, compromise, ability to share and good sportsmanship. A child's relationships with their parents and other primary caretakers model the social skills that they will use with peers.

Step 3

Educate your child on the communication skills that are necessary for initiating and maintaining friendships. Through role playing, you and your child can take turns greeting one another and practicing conversation. Encourage friendly nonverbal behavior, such as making eye contact, smiling and maintaining a relaxed posture.

Step 4

Increase your child's opportunity for peer socialization. Encourage participation in after-school programs, sports and recreation, and special-interest groups in which your child can interact and make new friends. Ensure that he or she has a supportive environment in which to practice learned social skills.

Tips and Warnings

If your child continues to have trouble making friends, enroll them in a social-skills training group. Social-skills training can successfully treat different emotional problems and disorders, including shyness, anxiety, depression, developmental disabilities and attention deficit disorder. Contact your local mental-health agency to inquire about social-skills groups, or request a referral from your child's school psychologist.
You may not always agree with your child's choice of friends. It is important to communicate your concerns about negative influences and inappropriate behavior. Avoid being judgmental or critical, and get to know your child's friends as well as their parents.