The teenage years can be difficult for a parent to deal with. Hormonal changes and a teenager's tendency to push the envelope and explore self expression can lead to parent/teenager conflict in many households. It is important for a parent to understand the reasons for some of the conflict it and manage it effectively. The teenage years are important formative years, and parents should look to help their children's emotional development through this time.
Teen Rebellion
An article on the Kids Health website reviewed by Dr. Steven Dowshen explained that the teenage years can bring with them a dramatic change in behavior of a child around their parents. This is caused by the desire to separate from the parents and show their own independence and free thinking. Teenagers are known to be expressive in displaying different looks and identities as they become more aware of how they differ from their peers. Teens can become athletic, gothic or a number of stereotypes. Sadly, the most common stereotype of a teen is that of a rebellious child consistently at odds with their parents. The parent should look to guide a teen through these years of seeking independence.
Types
Teenager parent conflict can come in many different types. Verbal shouting matches are among the more common forms of parent/teenager conflict. Bob Blyth, a certified professional mediator in Idaho, cites swearing, hurtful comments and name calling as common forms of parent/teenager conflict. Silent stand-offs can also occur over time, thereby racturing the relationship of a parent and teenager. In extreme cases, physical conflict can occur.
Communication
Communication between a parent and teenager is crucial during the teenage years. Without good communication, it is easy for conflicts to spiral out of control. A parent should take the initiative in communication and lead by example. Your child has looked to you throughout life as a role model; and remember, now is no different. Picking your battles is important. If daily conflicts occur, what you say will get lost in more unimportant things. Therefore, try to confront your teenager on more big-picture issues such as alcohol use. Parents should always remain in regular communication with their teenager as a trust and bond will grow through this.
Techniques to Build Bridges
Terri Apter of The Observer Lifestyle paper published advice for parents looking to resolve conflict with their teenager. Ideas included showing understanding and not minimizing your teenager's concerns and problems. Avoiding humiliating and embarrassing your teenager was recommended to avoid escalating the conflict further. Showing interest in other areas of life and communicating with a positive focus on a regular basis was also recommended.
Professional Help
Professional help is available for severe parent/teenager conflict that feels irreconcilable. The Department of Social and Health Service offers Family Reconciliation services where conflict can be resolved with the assistance of professional and licensed mediators.
