1. Use Your Words
While most toddlers can start to understand the difference between right and wrong at about the age of 2, it's not until around preschool that children can really grasp the concept of morality. Even then, they will continue to test their boundaries and your rules. As a parent, it can be emotionally hard to see your child cheating, lying, stealing, hitting or generally disobeying. It's important to remember, however, that these things are a part of growing up and each moral infraction represents an opportunity to teach right from wrong.
Your instinct when you see your child behaving badly may be to discipline through punishment. Punitive punishments rarely teach meaningful lessons, however. Instead, you should use the moment to explain why something should not be done. For example, you catch your child stealing a toy from a friend. Rather than putting him on a time-out or taking away a privilege, use the theft to explain why stealing is wrong. Then, help your child think of ways to make the situation right, such as returning the toy and apologizing. Finally, help your child learn how to handle a similar situation in the future, such as asking his friend if he can borrow the toy.
2. Teach Empathy
If you can teach your child to empathize with others, it will be that much easier for her to learn right from wrong. No matter what the situation is, ask your child, "How would that make you feel?" Frame the situation so that she can see the other person's perspective. For example, if you spotted your child cheating on a game with another child, you could say, "Those are not the rules of the game. How would you feel if you were playing by the rules but someone else won unfairly?"
Sometimes, children will resist immediate attempts to correct their behavior; they may become defensive or lie to cover their tracks. In those cases, allow some time to pass so that you can approach your child when she is calm and receptive. Model empathy for her by showing that you understand how she feels. Saying, "I understand that you really wanted to win the game, but it's not fair to break the rules" would be a good way to start.
3. Encourage Positive Decisions
Teaching a child integrity goes beyond correcting bad behavior. When you witness your child acting with honesty, respectfulness, generosity, forgiveness, kindness or any other positive trait, acknowledge that behavior and encourage it. Positively reinforcing good values can be even more effective than disciplining bad values.
