Jealousy is a basic emotion that everyone feels at one point or another. It's normal to get jealous, just like it's normal to get angry or sad. Jealousy among preschool-age children can happen when one child is playing with a toy that the other child wants to play with, if a new baby is born into the family or if a child is getting attention from an adult while another child doesn't.
Basics
Jealousy among young children is as normal as jealousy among teenagers. However, young children aren't able to express or identify what they're feeling like adolescents or adults are able to, so dealing with jealousy is harder with preschool-aged children. Many children this age express jealousy by throwing more temper tantrums, refusing to share things and regressing. For example, a four-year-old who's feeding herself at meals might suddenly demand that her parents feed her or start sucking her thumb again.
Considerations
According to a study published in "Child Development" titled "Emotion Regulation in Context: The Jealousy Complex Between Young Siblings and Its Relations With Child and Family Characteristics," jealousy occurs less between siblings if their parents report that they are in a happy marriage. Also, first-born children can become extremely jealous when another baby comes into the family. Parents need to consider outside circumstances that might be making their children more jealous.
Misconceptions
Some parents become overly worried when their preschool-aged child starts displaying signs of jealousy. They might believe that they didn't prepare the child well enough to be in preschool or for the arrival of a new sibling. However, this isn't true. Parents can prepare their children for these situations, teach them how to share and talk to them about feelings, and the child will still be jealous when his sibling is getting attention.
Prevention
Parents can work with their young children to decrease feelings of jealousy by monitoring their play with other young children. Make sure that the child shares and positively reinforce sharing. Give both children a lot of encouragement to play nicely together, and try to give each child equal amounts of attention.
Solution
There is no absolute solution for dealing with jealousy among preschool-aged children. However, certain things can be done to decrease feelings of jealousy. For example, parents can make sure that they spend quality time with each of their children. A family with two children could schedule one-on-one time for each child twice a week. Mom could take the preschool aged child to get ice cream after dinner, and dad could feed the baby and put him to sleep.
In a preschool setting, teachers should give attention to each child to help reduce feelings of jealousy. Also, if a preschool sees a child becoming jealous, she could give that child a leadership role to make him feel important. For example, the child could be the line leader or in charge of passing out plates at snack time.
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