Although no family is perfect, some are strong and healthy enough to survive challenges and difficult times better than others. Families need to focus on their specific needs and situations rather than compare themselves to what they consider the ideal shown in the movies or on TV. An article on the University of Kentucky College of Agriculture website claims that comparing real families to those depicted on television shows is like comparing natural grass to AstroTurf. However, certain measurements factors can help determine the strength of a real family.
Unified Leadership
Ideally, the parents should be married and show unity in major decisions as well as joy in the partnership. However, with the prevalence of divorce and single parenting, this isn't always possible, so the parents need to find other ways to stand together on critical issues.
Commitment to the Family
A healthy family shares experiences and sets goals for the unit. Each member of the family should have a part in the planning and development of these goals. This helps build strength and a sense of commitment to the unity of the family.
Showing Appreciation
Healthy families not only appreciate each other, they show it. They listen to other members of the family and share their feelings. They stand up for and support each other in good times and in bad.
Time Spent Together
The family needs to spend some time together. To prevent each person from feeling independent of the others, time should be set aside for family discussions, vacations and just being together. Meals, religious gatherings and social events are all ways to do this without making it seem like a forced activity. Including fun times will add to the camaraderie and feeling of belonging. Families who laugh together can often use humor to get through difficult times.
Time Spent Apart
Strong families understand that there will be times spent without each other. Outside activities can give each person an outlet for participating in unique interests and add dimension and strength to the family unit.
Communicate and Forgive
Communication is important in all relationships. Family members should be open with each other, even if they don't agree. When misunderstandings occur, this makes it easier to forgive. Communicating feelings and thoughts will help others understand and let go of the pain caused by disagreement and misunderstanding.
Establish Traditions
Families can grow stronger by establishing traditions. They may choose to incorporate traditional celebrations from other generations, or they may choose to start their own. These are events that will be remembered as the children grow up and start their own families. When changes do occur, such traditions may enable family members to embrace such changes without feeling like they are losing a sense of who they are.
Establish Pride
Parents need to show pride in the family first. If the children know their parents are proud of the family, regardless of external factors such as money, appearance or awards, they will exhibit the same pride in the family.
Spiritual Values
Families who spend time discussing their spiritual beliefs and values are able to find common ground among the group. This can be done by reading the Bible or other books of faith. Prayers, meditation and other spiritual activities will help bring families closer together and make them stronger.
