It's hard to know for sure if a spouse is cheating unless the spouse tells you that he's cheating or you catch him in the act. However, there are some warning signs that your spouse has been unfaithful. The best course of action is to ask your spouse if she's cheating. If she denies it but you still have a feeling in your gut that isn't right, look for some common warning signs of infidelity.
Step 1
Observe your partner's daily habits. If they've changed, he might be cheating. For instance, if your spouse all of a sudden starts working out or buying nicer clothes to wear to work, he might be trying to impress someone that he's interested in or cheating with.
Step 2
Call your spouse at work if she tells you that she has to work late. Don't do this on a regular basis, because she might get into trouble at work. Do it if you suspect she's cheating. Ask to speak with her and see if she's really at work. Someone might be covering for her if she's always unavailable, on the phone or in a meeting when you try to call. If your spouse suddenly starts working later hours or traveling for work, she could be cheating.
Step 3
Notice changes in your sex life. If he turns you down when he normally wouldn't or makes up excuses for not having sex, it could be a warning sign of infidelity. Also, it's another warning sign if he resists kissing, cuddling and hugging.
Step 4
Check the bank account for unexpected expenses. If you share a bank account, this shouldn't be hard. Is everything like normal or is your spouse taking out amounts of money without talking to you about it? Your spouse could have started a separate checking account for related costs such as hotel rooms, gifts and secret dinners.
Step 5
Pay attention when your spouse receives phone calls. If she always leaves the room to take her calls, gives vague answers about who is calling or constantly leaves after receiving phone calls, she might be cheating. Check the phone bills for numbers you don't recognize that appear regularly and the length of the phone calls. If the length is excessive, she might be talking to her lover.
Step 6
Watch how your spouse acts when he's on the computer. Does he change to a different webpage when you enter the room? Did he add a password to the computer? Does he seem secretive about his emails? He might be communicating with the person he's having an affair with on the computer.
Tips and Warnings
- If you're having problems in your marriage or suspect cheating and you want to get help, ask your spouse to go with you to marriage counseling.
Things You'll Need
- Bank account statements
- Phone bills
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