Regardless of how a woman views her maternal years, the process is the same. Children arrive, grow up and eventually become independent and leave "the nest" to start their own lives. However, there are two distinct ways to view motherhood: One view focuses on the experience of the child; the latter view focuses on the maternal experience. According to Melinda Hill of Ohio State University, parenting falls into three recognizable stages: the early stage, the middle stage, and the late stage. Hill's perspective emphasizes the maternal experience.
The Early Years
The earliest stage of parenthood--most specifically, motherhood--is characterized by nurturance of children from birth to 12 years of age. It is a time that requires great endurance and flexibility on the part of the woman who, as a mother, must travel along behind her children to ensure that all goes right for them. From providing for nutrition and toileting, to safety, to early socialization, they are ever "on call" for whatever comes their way. Mothers, during this time, often have little "downtime" as they are faced with helping with homework, keeping up with team sports and embracing the psycho-social needs of their children. Many women also enter the workforce during this stage to begin building their own careers; and with that, hence, the advent of "latchkey" children, lending to maternal guilt for some mothers who would prefer to be home when their children come home from school.
The Middle Years
The middle stage, when children are between the ages of 13 and 17, is characterized by providing guidance and guidelines as well as promoting independence. Ever careful to avoid being too strict, or too lax, they must strike a balance between the two. For moms, the middle stage spans from junior high school to high school. It can be a testy time for all involved, as mothers strive to "do the right thing" for their children while predictably enduring the turmoil that often accompanies these hormonal years.
The Late Years
The late stage, which occurs when children are 18 years of age or older, is all about being available to them while concurrently stepping back, and practicing letting go, so the children can assimilate into early adulthood. For most women, this involves sending their children off to college, helping them find a job or even helping to prepare them for marriage. Clearly, for mothers, these family life events may provoke what is commonly called "empty nest." As a side note, for most women, this may be the most challenging stage of all, as it usually occurs in middle age and may coincide with peri-menopause.
