Sometimes spouses grieve together over the loss of a child or loved one. However, sometimes one spouse may encounter a loss that is more personal to her than her spouse. For instance, someone might lose a parent or best friend and grieve separately. The process of grieving can impact that person's spouse.
Responsibility
According to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, the first reaction to the loss of a loved one is usually shock. Many times the person will be too shocked to react and then become greatly emotionally impacted. The spouse may have to take over most of the household responsibilities during this time. She might have to take care of and discipline the kids, clean the house, host relatives and more by herself while her husband grieves. This can leave the person's spouse to become overwhelmed and stressed.
Anger
Many times, anger is part of the grieving process. The person who is grieving may become angry with god, herself, the person who died or people around her. This could mean she might be irritable toward her spouse. She might snap at him, emotionally push him away or become aggressive.
Guilt
Another emotion that is common in grieving is guilt. The person who's grieving might feel guilty for not visiting his deceased parent more often or not spending holidays with the deceased. This guilt can impact a marriage and the other spouse, especially if the grieving spouse blames the other spouse. For instance, a woman who loses her father might feel guilty for putting him in a nursing home the last couple years of his life. She might blame her husband for not encouraging her to let her dad live at home. This guilt and blame can cause problems in the marriage if not resolved.
Depression
Grief can turn into major depression in which the person is extremely sad, has issues eating and sleeping, feels hopeless and has thoughts of suicide. If someone's spouse becomes depressed because of grief, it will significantly impact that person. One sign of depression is reckless behavior, such as drinking and driving, using illegal drugs and having unprotected sex. These reckless behaviors can cause harm to a person's spouse and family. Both spouses may have to participate in counseling to deal with these issues.
Work and Finances
Someone who's grieving may have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning to go to work. He might go to work late, not go to work at all, have a hard time completing work-related projects and have difficulty concentrating. This could lead to the person being demoted or fired, which impacts the person's spouse. The spouse may have to take on another part-time job to cover basic expenses while her spouse looks for a new job. This can cause resentment in the relationship.
