1. Talk With Teens About Their Changing Role in Family Dynamics
Dealing with teenagers in the home means accepting and fostering their changing role in the family. While it's comforting to try to keep things the same, doing so can be stifling to the teen. Trying to repress the changes that come with a rapidly maturing young person can be counterproductive. Discuss changes with your teen, including added freedoms, the changes in body and mind and the natural pulling away from parents. Not every discussion needs to be a big production. Instead, there should be an ongoing conversation in which you and your child relate about these changes and her growth. Anticipate years of constant readjusting as your child moves closer to adulthood.
2. Teach Teens the Essential Skills They'll Need in the Future
During the last years your teen spends in your home, you'll want to teach him essential skills for his successful future. Learning to cook, do laundry and balance a checkbook doesn't come naturally. These skills have to be learned, and they're as important as preparing for a vocation or gearing up for college. The family as a whole will function better with a teen who is actively pursuing life skills--and you can benefit from an extra helping hand at the grocery store, dry cleaner or post office.
3. Provide Unconditional Love Throughout the Teen Years
Teen years are trying. A teenager undergoes tremendous changes in her body and mind. These changes, along with the push and pull of craving the simplicity of childhood while desiring the freedom of adulthood, make for an emotional roller coaster. During this notoriously difficult time, strive to provide her with unconditional love. She's going to make mistakes--sometimes large ones that have to be dealt with firmly--but she needs the complete reassurance that no matter what bad choices are made, you will continue to love and support her. Never react to her mistakes by shutting down or insinuating you have "given up" on her.
