After a life of independence and making his own decisions, it can be heartbreaking to see your parent no longer able to care for himself. Not all elderly people require round-the-clock assistance, but there may come a time when your parent can no longer live safely in his home. Adult children may find it difficult to discuss the possibility of moving to a nursing home with a parent, but with a little tact and a lot of love, parent and child can come to a mutual understanding.
Step 1
Schedule appointments with several nursing homes in your area and visit by yourself before talking with your parent. Pay attention not only to the condition of the facility, but also to the moods of the nursing home residents. Request brochures about the home, resident activities and care practices.
Step 2
Discuss the possibility of moving your parent to a nursing home with your siblings. It helps when family members agree before having the discussion with your parent. If disagreements persist, contact a social worker to assess the situation.
Step 3
Talk to your parent about her ability to care for herself and allow her to express her feelings. Unless your parent is in a declining mental state, she may already suspect that self-care is becoming more difficult. Keep the first discussion short and positive. This allows your parent to adjust to the idea of making a life change gradually.
Step 4
Show your parent the brochures from the nursing homes you feel are the best choices at a subsequent discussion. Focus on the positive aspects of each nursing home, such as a calendar of activities, modern décor or quality of care. Mention how you witnessed the residents interacting and enjoying each other's company.
Step 5
Explain the financial aspects to your parent. Paying for the high cost of nursing home care often uses up the person's life savings. The nursing home administrator will inform you of ways to pay for your parent's care.
Step 6
Listen to your parent's concerns and avoid arguing. If he brings up a question and you don't have the answer, tell him you'll look into it and get back to him. Unless a crisis, such as a fall, is forcing you to put your parent in a nursing home immediately, a series of discussions will make the transition less stressful.
Step 7
Assure your parent that you have only her best interest in mind. She may suggest alternative methods of care and, if they are feasible, give them serious attention. However, if your parent is not able to feed herself, bathe herself, take her medications or complete her toileting needs, it's time to make a change.
Step 8
Schedule a time when you can take your parent to visit the nursing homes. Allowing him to participate in the choice of a home may make the move easier.
Tips and Warnings
- Discuss nursing home options before your parent needs them. Remain calm during the discussion.
- Check out each nursing home thoroughly. In addition to speaking to the administrator and some of the residents, talk to the families of the residents to find out the pros and cons of each home.
Things You'll Need
- Nursing home brochures
- Financial documentation
