1. Give Children Chores to Accomplish
For a child to learn responsibility, he has to be given responsibilities. From an early age, you can give your child age-appropriate chores to accomplish. For example, children at 3 and 4 can be taught to make their beds in the morning. Chores teach children to plan and follow through and provide them with a sense of achievement. Make sure you praise responsible behavior. Positive reinforcement is a powerful motivator, particularly for children in grade school.
When assigning chores, let your child have a say in what task he performs and to make sure he agrees to any consequences that will be imposed for shirking. This also teaches responsibility, because it makes your child feel like he is part of the decision-making process, and it reinforces that he must live up to what he agreed to do. Consequences should be designed to fit the offense. For example, if your child doesn't do his chores by the deadline, he will not be able to play until it is done. This teaches another lesson about responsibility--that work comes before play.
2. Set a Responsible Example
As with most things in life, children learn responsibility partially from the example of their parents. If you want your child to act responsibly, you have to demonstrate that behavior in your own life. That means that you have to do your own chores when you are supposed to, put things back when you use them and live up to your word. You can't expect your child to do these things if you don't do them yourself.
As a parent, you also can model responsibility to your community by volunteering. For example, sign up to help build a home for a needy family or deliver meals to the sick. Take your child along to age-appropriate activities to teach her to think of people other than herself.
3. Leave the Nag in the Barn
Before a child can become responsible, he has to be allowed to take responsibility and accept the consequences. Nagging reminders to get chores finished or to do a homework project are counterproductive to raising a responsible and independent child. Your child should learn how to manage time and to follow through without constant prodding. A few gentle reminders are fine, but you shouldn't badger your child to live up to his responsibilities. While it may be hard for you to do, let your child face the consequences if he fails to act responsibly.
