Humans are social animals and have a need for honest friendships. Doctors at the Mayo Clinic report that friends can be good for your health. They can comfort you when you need it, provide helpful advice and boost your self-esteem. Dishonest friendships on the other hand, can wreak havoc in your life and stir up distrust, making it even harder to find new friends. Take a few steps when meeting new people to develop honest friendships that will last.
Step 1
Find a support group where people are trying to work on mental or physical health problems, fears or other issues that you too may have. Join a support group for people who are single or recently divorced. People who attend support groups tend to be more honest with their feelings, since they have a desire to improve.
Step 2
Offer to volunteer at a local community or social nonprofit. National Mental Health Information Center researchers report that a common bond such as caring about a cause makes a good foundation on which you can build an honest friendship.
Step 3
Join a club or take a class through your church or local community center. Common interests can lead to deeper friendships as you share in the activities.
Step 4
Start slowly once you meet someone you think could be a potential friend. Invite her to coffee or lunch and talk about your shared interest. Ask her questions about herself to learn more and reveal bits and pieces about your own history.
Step 5
Follow up with an email to see what kind of response you get. Consider how quickly you receive a response. Make a phone call and express your appreciation for the previous meeting and offer to help your new friend with a difficult task. Share a bit of good news and listen for her response.
Step 6
Develop a healthy and accurate self-image so that you don't have to use your friends to boost your ego or bore them with constant complaining, two traits that will drive friends away.
Tips and Warnings
- Listen. An honest friendship is built on listening as much as talking. Watch your friend's body language as she speaks as well. An honest friend looks you in the eye and doesn't fidget when talking to you.
- Take it easy and don't turn off a potential new friend by overwhelming her with calls and visits. Limit phone calls to daytime and early evening, and respect her schedule and other interests or family responsibilities. Be aware of how others perceive you and take suggestions when offered without becoming defensive. A friend will not want to continue being honest with you if honesty makes you react in anger.
Things You'll Need
- Support group
- Club
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