Unlike physical abuse, which leaves such signs as broken bones, bloody lips and black eyes, emotional abuse can be hard to verify through visual clues. Even people who are in emotionally abusive relationships may have a hard time determining whether their partners are actually emotionally abusive. You can look for several signs of an emotionally abusive relationship to help you determine the true nature of your relationship, but keep in mind that some abusers may exhibit all these signs while others only show one or two of them.
Control Issues
Emotionally abusive people tend to micromanage the lives of their partners. An emotionally abusive partner may control your social behavior by complaining when you make plans to go out with friends or insisting that you call him to check in whenever you are out with other people. He may control your finances by limiting your access to money and credit cards or forcing you to account for any money you spend. If your partner curtails your freedom to make choices about your own life, it may be a sign that he's emotionally abusive.
Insults
Verbal abuse plays a significant role in emotional abuse. If your partner criticizes or makes fun of your appearance, job, beliefs or ideas, you might be a victim of emotional abuse. Emotional abusers often make their verbal attacks in public and act as though they're joking while they're insulting you.
Anger and Blame
Emotional abusers are often supersensitive and respond to innocent comments and events as though they're personal attacks. They rarely take criticism well, whether it comes from their partners or anyone else, and they often lash back at the people offering the criticism. Many emotionally abusive people are quick to blame others for their problems--ranging from unemployment to family issues--and for their behavior. Perhaps most significantly, emotional abusers tend to blame their partners for their own abusive behavior.
Mood Swings
If your partner is emotionally abusive, your relationship can feel like a bad roller-coaster ride. One day she's sweet, loving and supportive, and the next she's screaming at you for making plans with your friends. Her erratic behavior keeps you constantly off-kilter: Because you never know how she's going to respond to you from day to day, you feel nervous and anxious most of the time.
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