1. Acknowledging Girls' Unique Concerns
Teenage girls have very specific concerns that need to be recognized. Know that your daughter is likely struggling with body image, cliques and high academic expectations as well as emerging sexual issues. Be willing to discuss all these in depth one at a time with girls throughout their adolescence. Don't wait for a problem to arise before addressing these core concerns. Your daughter needs constant reassurance that she is a wonderful and unique person who must not let herself be inhibited or repressed by common societal stereotyping of young women.
2. Encouraging Self-Sufficiency
To help your teenage daughter develop in all areas, encourage her to become more independent. From little things like learning to pump gas and change tires to more difficult skills like earning an income and money management, encourage her to become self-reliant. Give her tasks to work on and allow her to learn for herself while staying close enough to help if she gets in over her head. The road to self-sufficiency means hard work for both of you, and it's also a bit of tightrope walk. You want to foster her independence while stepping in from time to time so that she never falls too far.
3. Promoting Cross-Friendships
Teenage girls often become involved in very intense friendships with a small group of girls. While this can be a wonderful bonding experience, these tight relationships can also bring problems. Sometimes the emergence of a "queen bee" in the group can negatively impact the group dynamics. Know that this development can be damaging to your daughter's psyche and self-esteem whether she is the queen bee, a close confidante or on the periphery of the group. Encourage your daughter to not depend on the approval of her particular group but to break free from it. Guide her to develop friendships within different circles. While she may call herself a "band geek" or a "drama nerd" as part of a normal teen identity, let her know she can and should form friendships with a diverse group of individuals. The more friendships she develops, the easier it will be for her to discern what differentiates a "good" friend from a "bad" one.
4. Developing Immunity to Media Images
Teen girls are inundated with incredibly powerful societal images. Girls see super-skinny models and actresses held up as icons, glamorization of drug use and highly promiscuous behavior by women in television and films. Help your daughter by pointing out that many more women wear a size 12 than a size 2 and by exposing the unflattering stories of suffering addicts and those who are devastated by sexually transmitted diseases. Let her know these media images are not reality and that she will not benefit from imitating what is truly debilitating behavior. Tell your daughter the truth, because the media she is exposed to on a daily basis won't.
