The Compact Oxford English Dictionary defines communicating as "the sharing or exchanging of information and ideas." Almost everything that happens in our lives involves communication in one form or another. Effective communication not only involves conveying your ideas and opinions, but also includes the ability to absorb and listen to what another person is saying. Whether you are involved in a business meeting or a relationship discussion, communication is the most essential component of any interpersonal relationship.
Forms of Communication
In "The Business Communication Handbook," Judith Dwyer defines communication as having forms--verbal, nonverbal and graphic--and types--intrapersonal, interpersonal, public and mass. Messages can be communicated verbally with words or sounds and graphically through pictures, and also via the written word using letters, email, brochures and faxes. Additionally, communication occurs on a nonverbal level via facial expressions and posture. Interpersonal communication involves communication with others, while intrapersonal communication involves what you say to yourself. Public or mass communication is the dispensing of a message to the public via a form of mass media such as television, radio or printed media like a newspaper. In every form of communication, it is essential to have the ability to communicate in an effective manner.
Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal communication skills are important in the workplace, at home and with family and friends. Most people think of communication as merely speaking, yet communication is multifaceted and involves listening skills and nonverbal communications as well. According to P.S. Perkins, most people are unaware that when they are speaking, it is "just a replay of something they have been taught to think, right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy." Furthermore, when people are listening, they are usually thinking about what they are going to say next, not paying attention to what the speaker is saying. Clear and assertive speaking skills and the ability to convey a message in a direct yet non-confrontational manner are important communication skills, however, many people forget that it is also vital to have the ability to listen to what another person is saying. Truly listening to and focusing on what another person says can eliminate ambiguities and avoid miscommunication or potential disagreements.
Nonverbal Communication
Speaking clearly and developing good listening skills are all important components of effective communication. However, since communication occurs on a nonverbal, often subconscious level, it is important to be tuned into nonverbal cues as well. Being consciously attuned to another person's body language during a conversation not only shows that you are on the same level, but that you are truly interested in what is being said. Communicating effectively at the nonverbal level means being aware of your posture, such as keeping your legs uncrossed and sitting or standing in a relaxed position and maintaining eye contact. Subconscious actions such as leaning away from someone when they approach or showing signs of distraction by fidgeting or looking around the room are all signs of poor communication skills.
Techniques for Effective Communication
In every situation where you are trying to get a message across, being assertive without being pushy is important. Furthermore, during difficult conversations or confrontations, self control is vital so that the situation doesn't get out of control. Active listening techniques can help in this area and are useful communication skills that anyone can develop. Techniques such as mirroring and reflective listening, in which you reflect back to another person what she has just said using clarifying statements such as, "If I am hearing you correctly, what you are saying is...", are useful in avoiding miscommunication and show that you have genuine interest in the other person.
Communication and Intimate Relationships
Communicating effectively with our loved ones, family members and spouses can be difficult for a number of reasons. With our spouses, we may often feel that they are somehow psychically aware of our needs without our having to communicate them. When our needs are not met, we may become offended or act as though we have been emotionally wounded. Harville Hendrix's theory of a "conscious marriage," in which one of the top 10 characteristics is "taking responsibility for communicating your needs and desires to your partner," is also applicable to family relationships and friendships as well. Using the techniques of effective communication are especially important in intimate relationships, because we are often so comfortable with our loved ones that we sometimes forget that they cannot actually read our minds.
Business and the Importance of Effective Communication Skills
In business, being able to communicate effectively can mean the difference between success and failure, profit and loss, and gaining new clients or losing existing ones. People who have poor communication skills often get stuck at a certain level in their career. Having good communication skills is generally a requirement in any career. Assertiveness and clear speaking skills, such as knowing what you want to say in a simple, straightforward manner, are vitally important in business. Being able to listen and to tune into nonverbal communications are also beneficial if you are in a leadership position, as is the ability to manage and effectively resolve conflict in relationships with employees, co-workers and clients.
References
- "Getting the Love You Want: A Handbook for Couples"; Harville Hendrix, Ph.D; 1988
- "The Business Communication Handbook"; Judith Dwyer; 2003
- "The Art and Science of Communication: Tools for Effective Communication in the Workplace"; P.S. Perkins; 2008
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