The toddler years, which occur between the ages of 12 months and 3 years, are often a trying time for parents. Toddlers often want to assert their independence, and they become frustrated easily. The National Network for Child Care points out that young children have limited communication skills and do not know how to share. Toddlers need discipline so that they can learn how to behave properly and to keep themselves safe. Many child development experts, including Dr. William Sears, agree that spanking does not have a place in toddler discipline. Be sure than when you discipline your toddler, you are teaching her how to behave, instead of only how not to behave.
Distraction and Redirection
Young toddlers often respond well to distraction and redirection. Distracting a toddler is helpful when he is too young to understand the rules that you have in place. If he is touching an item that is off-limits, say his name in a calm voice to get his attention, then distract him with something else or bring him into another room. Redirection is helpful when your toddler begins to understand simple directions. When you see your toddler pulling the dog's tail, redirect him by telling him, "pet her gently," then guiding his hand to pat the dog's head.
Natural Consequences
For some types of misbehavior, natural consequences will be enough discipline that you will not have to enforce any type of punishment. If your child refuses to eat lunch, for example, then she will experience the natural consequence of feeling hungry until snack time. If she throws a tantrum over wearing her jacket, she will likely change her mind when she experiences the natural consequence of feeling cold as soon as she walks out the door. Sometimes, the natural consequence of misbehavior would be dangerous, making this discipline strategy inappropriate. You cannot allow your toddler to play outside in below-freezing weather without a coat, for example.
Logical Consequences
If natural consequences are inappropriate in a certain situation, a logical consequence may work, especially for an older toddler. A logical consequence is closely tied to the misbehavior. The child who refuses to wear his coat on a day with a low windchill can be told that he will have to miss out on building a snowman with his siblings. A child who throws his food on the floor can experience the unpleasant logical consequence of having his food taken away.
Time-Outs
When your young child is acting in a way that is extremely disruptive or dangerous, a time-out may be in order. Remove her from the action and place her in her bedroom, on a chair or in a corner. Kneel down to her level and tell her in simple words that she must stop what she was doing. For example, say "no hitting," or "don't throw the dishes." Have her sit for a minute, then release her to go back to playing. This will give her the message that if she cannot stop herself from misbehaving, you will step in and redraw her boundaries.
