1. Encourage Positive Speech
Teens frequently engage in negative "self talk." They tell themselves and others things like, "I'm no good at sports" or "Everybody else is smarter than I am." This type of language is self-defeating and lowers esteem. Let your children know these types of comments are off-limits in your household. Have them say positive and specific statements to themselves--not just, "I am a good friend" but "I am a good friend because I am loyal and do not gossip." Have them give themselves a minimum of three compliments per day. Emphasize that these need always to be true and center on something specific. When they have reached a comfort level with this new affirmative style of speaking, encourage them to "pay it forward." Have them cheer on their classmates with sincere compliments and praise. Everyone will benefit.
2. Promote Involvement in Healthy Activities
Teenagers who participate in healthful group endeavors such as sports and community service generally have higher self-esteem than those who do not. Make it a point to learn what your children care about and find ways for them to develop their interests in healthy, group-oriented pursuits. Encourage them to sign up for multi-sports clinics at the Y or a community center to try out a variety of athletic games. Some of these locations offer choices aside from the usual soccer and basketball, such as scuba diving, curling or yoga. If your teens prefer activities that are less physical, encourage their unique interests. Are they fans of Japanese anime or elaborate Lego architecture? There are clubs that can put your teens together with others who have similar interests. Are they animal lovers? Your teens may find their niche volunteering at an animal rehabilitation center or a pet therapy program. The right activity can help your teen develop and celebrate her self-worth.
3. Allow Teens to Make Meaningful Decisions
Teens often believe they have nothing of value to contribute to their communities. This negativity reinforces feelings of low self-worth. Allow your children to break free from thoughts of insignificance by permitting them to make decisions integral to their lives. Parents, teachers and other adults often fear giving teenagers the leeway to make big decisions, but teens are only a few years away from adulthood and need to learn to make wise choices for themselves. Give your input about issues, but make sure your teen knows you are giving him permission to make the final choice. Trust his intentions and actions, and praise him for the learning and growth he attains from both his successful and not-so-successful choices.
