Adoption, of course, is first and foremost a personal and emotional endeavor. But adopting a child is also a legal venture. When you adopt within the United States (known as a domestic adoption), both state and federal laws apply, and the laws among the states vary. Still, no matter where you live, there are some basic steps you need to take on the road to becoming an adoptive parent.
Education
Familiarize yourself with the intricacies of the adoption process by talking to other adoptive parents and attending a pre-adoption information session (they are often hosted by adoption agencies and religious groups). Prospective adoptive parents have a number of choices. You can, for instance, take in a child from the local foster care system, engage a lawyer to help you locate a birth mother planning to put her child up for adoption, or use a non- or for-profit adoption agency to facilitate your quest. Get the details on each option before you decide.
Qualifications
The meat-and-potatoes of the adoption process is the home study, a requirement for all adoptive parents. During the home study, you must meet with a social worker (at least once at your home) and provide information about your finances, citizenship, marital and health status. You will also be asked to sketch a biographical picture of your lifestyle and parenting philosophy. Age requirements for adoption vary by state, but nearly every state includes a criminal background check as part of the home study.
Searching
When you adopt through the foster care system, local agencies will help you find a child. If you choose private adoption and wish to pursue an infant, the agency or attorney you select will take charge of the search. Many people also take the additional step of posting their "story" on an adoption website.
Connecting
Birth mothers generally have a choice of prospective adoptive parents; to put yourself in the running, you will need to write a "Dear Birth Mother" letter to introduce yourself and provide a snapshot--and actual snapshots--of how you live. Ultimately, you will most likely meet or have a phone conversation with an expectant mother to see if it is a good match.
Budget
Your budget might help you determine what type of adoption you choose. According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, the cost of foster care adoptions ranges from 0 to $2,500. Adoption through a licensed private agency extends from $5,000 to $40,000+, and attorney-assisted adoptions start at about $8,000 and go up to $40,000+ (although the average is $10,000 to $15,000). Bear in mind that a federal tax credit as well as tax credits offered by some states can defray the costs.
Time Line
One of the most important qualifications for adopting, notes the nonprofit group Children Awaiting Parents, is patience and perseverance. The average amount of time it takes to bring home a child is 1 to 2 years, and the paperwork and emotional ups and downs can be daunting. But the process is a lot like giving birth: Once you have that child in your arms, you'll hardly remember all the labor and pain it took to get him there.
