It's natural and normal to get angry. It can happen to someone who loses his cell phone, is belittled by a supervisor or has a child who throws temper tantrums. Anger becomes a problem when it interferes in negative ways in your life, because you can't cope with it in healthy ways. Therapists work with people who struggle with feelings of anger to manage it, so it doesn't affect their relationships, families and work.
Rating Anger
One technique used in therapy with children, teens and adults is having the person rate her anger. When a person becomes angered, she should rate her feelings of anger on a scale of one to 10, one being completely relaxed and 10 being the angriest she has ever been. If the person feels her anger climbing the scale, she becomes aware of it and implements anger-management strategies. Becoming aware of the feelings before they get out of control is the first step in reducing the feelings of anger.
Relaxation Techniques
Therapists work with clients on learning and implementing relaxation techniques. They might introduce the client to deep, focused breathing, meditation or visualization practices. For example, the therapist and the client might be talking about something that made the client angry during the past week. Talking about it might make the client angry, and the therapist guides the client through relaxation exercises. The counselor might tell the client to close his eyes and visualize a place where he's the happiest. After the client practices these techniques with the therapist, he can do them on his own when he gets angry.
Listing Coping Mechanisms
One strategy therapists use in anger management is helping the client determine ways she can deal with anger in the moment and making a list. The therapist may tell the client to hang the list somewhere in his house where she'll see it on a regular basis and to go over the list each morning until it's memorized. The list might contain techniques such as exercising, taking a timeout or using humor to deal with tension. Each week, the therapist will ask the client if she used any of the techniques on her list and ask how well they worked. The therapist and client tweak the technique, so it's a healthy coping mechanism for that individual.
'I' Statements
Many times when people become angry, they make "you" statements that are blaming or unproductive to communication. A technique that therapists use in anger management is teaching the child, teen or adult to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, the therapist will instruct the client to say, "It makes me angry when I feel like you aren't listening to me," instead of, "You never listen to me." This helps communication and brings down tension within a heated conversation.
