In the movies, the wife always learns about her husband's affair when she sees bright red lipstick and smells unfamiliar perfume on his collar. In real life, signs of infidelity aren't always as obvious. If you suspect that your husband or wife is having an affair, be aware of even the smallest changes in your spouse's behavior.
Sudden Obsession with Personal Appearance
When you and your wife first met, you dressed to the nines to impress each other. After a couple of years passed, the kids came around and you each gained a few pounds in the abdominal region. Now your wife is suddenly interested in shopping for slinky dresses and spends an extra 15 minutes putting on her makeup before she heads out for the day, even when you have no special plans later that night. The sudden change might mean that she is trying to impress a new partner.
Extra Time Spent Away
If your husband is cheating, he won't be able to interact with his new partner when he is with his family. He might make excuses such as, "I got caught up at work," and, "I have to go to yet another conference," when he never used to spend more than a few extra minutes at work. If you are suspicious, observe everything from the gas miles used on his car in 1 day, to the amount of money he brings in for all of the alleged "overtime" he has been putting in lately.
Altered Phone Habits
Now that most people carry around cell phones rather than relying on landlines, your wife will have an easy time hiding private phone calls and text messages from you if she is cheating. If you are already suspicious, pay extra attention to her phone interactions when you are around. Does she ever pick up the phone and say, "I'll call you back later"? Does she ever look down at the number and avoid the call, when before she used to answer all of her calls? She could be hiding something. You may be able to check her phone bill to pick up on any strange, long 3 a.m. calls to unknown numbers.
Obsessive Online Behavior
If your partner acts like a teenager when he is on the Internet, spending long hours online in the middle of the night and hiding passwords from you, you may have a right to be concerned. According to the National Directory of Marriage & Family Counseling, you should be especially mindful of his actions if he continuously clears out the search history and positions the screen away from your line of sight when you are around. If you are suspicious, walk into the room when he thinks you are asleep or busy doing something else, and take note if he flinches or makes any abrupt movements. He may be trying to change what is on the screen.
Changes in Relations with Partner
While it is certainly possible for a cheating partner to treat her spouse negatively and act defensive when she is carrying on in an extramarital affair, she may also do just the opposite. In order to make amends for her infidelity, she may try to please you more than she used to, in or out of bed. Don't jump to conclude that every nice gesture is a sign of infidelity, but excessive congeniality could be a sign if you are already suspicious of other behaviors.
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