A healthy dose of self-confidence improves quality of life, enhances relationships and empowers persons to follow and achieve their dreams. On the other hand, low self-confidence impedes personal growth and prevents a person from seeing her innate worth, unique qualities and talents. Seeing a loved one suffer from low confidence can be frustrating and challenging. Rather than watch a friend's self-happiness and self-esteem diminish, step in and help her boost her self-confidence.
Help Build A Friend's Confidence
Step 1
Talk to your friend and remind her of the qualities that make her a good friend. Persons with low confidence often overlook their positive qualities. Share stories or anecdotes that demonstrate her positive qualities and the different ways they have had a positive impact on your life and friendship with her.
Step 2
Focus on her personal qualities (honesty, loyalty, and so on), not her accomplishments, during the conversation. Low self-confidence often arises when someone defines her worth by her accomplishments rather than her personal qualities. Steer the discussion toward her personality traits, placing emphasis on who she is in life rather than what she does in life.
Step 3
Encourage your friend to write down her good qualities and what she values about herself. Also write down what qualities you appreciate and what you value about her and the relationship. Consulting these lists will remind her what she appreciates about herself during bouts of low self-confidence.
Step 4
Combat negative thinking and statements with positive reinforcements. Challenge your friend to write down negative thoughts she experiences throughout the day or when she is feeling low about herself. Create and record a positive thought for each negative thought. For example, if she thinks she did not do well enough on her exams, counter it with appreciative thoughts about how dedicated she is to caring about her studies.
Step 5
Talk to your friend about activities (dancing, walking, reading, and so on) that she enjoys while she is doing them. Encourage her to record them and boost her daily self-confidence by participating in one of them on a daily basis.
Step 6
Try something new with your friend. Sign up for a race, volunteer or do anything outside of her normal realm. Stepping out of a comfort zone, regardless of the outcome, leads to increases in self-confidence--it allows your friend to see herself in a new situation.
Tips and Warnings
- Be supportive of your friend and her efforts, but don't feel responsible for overhauling her self-confidence. Reach out to others if you feel overwhelmed, concerned or burdened by your friend's emotional state.
- Feelings of low self-confidence may be a symptom of depression, anxiety or another mental health condition. Encourage your friend to contact a doctor if her low self-confidence remains the same and does not improve with time.
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