Watching your parents begin to deteriorate physically and mentally can be tough for any child. Tougher still is thinking about placing your parents in an assisted living home, especially against their initial wishes. Talk to your parents about assisted living so they know what their options are, why you're considering it and what it will mean for them. Starting the dialogue long before assisted living is necessary means you can have a mature, intelligent discussion with your parents about the subject.
Step 1
Start the conversation about assisted living options before a crisis occurs or your parents begin to deteriorate, recommends MarketWatch.com. In this way, you can ensure that you have an open discussion with your parents who are entirely present, ensuring that you get their full opinions on the subject. This can help give you peace of mind, knowing exactly your parent's wishes and desires for their future.
Step 2
Include talking about assisted living as part of your parent's estate planning, suggests the California Department of Health Care Services. When they discuss planning a will and divvying up property, ask your parents what they'd like to do concerning assisted living, and include it in the estate-planning meetings with a lawyer. It's a less-aggressive way of talking to your parents about assisted living, and when the time comes you'll have documents to direct your actions.
Step 3
Convey your emotions and fears on the subjects, using "I" statements that give reasons why you think assisted living is a necessary option for your aging parents, notes Elinor Ginzler, senior vice president for livable communities at AARP. Such statements as "I noticed your shower can be slippery, and I'm scared for your safety" help your parents understand why you're considering assisted living without feeling attacked.
Step 4
Ask for feedback from your parents. Talking about assisted living facilities may cause them to feel hurt or angry or to become despondent. Discuss different ideas, and consider striking up a deal; if your parents can change some of their home environment for safer options--installing shower bars or a chair lift for the stairs or moving their bedroom to the main floor--they can stay in their home.
Step 5
Start with baby steps so your parents aren't shocked by the sudden removal from their home and their independence. Hiring a cleaning lady to come once a week or a hospice service to administer medications can help them maintain independence while giving you peace of mind. Talk to your parents about what type of help they would be comfortable receiving, and choose accordingly.
