An unfaithful partner can destroy a relationship, but there are ways to pick up the pieces and make your marriage stronger than it was before the mistake happened. What is considered infidelity varies from person to person and can include kissing, intercourse or an online relationship. Infidelity is damaging to a relationship because knowing that your partner had an intimate encounter with someone else destroys trust, makes you feel inadequate as a partner, creates a deep sense of betrayal and causes you to cycle through strong emotions. With time, dedication and patience you can rebuild your relationship and forgive your partner.
The Betrayed Partner
Step 1
Speak to a trusted friend, family member or pastor about the situation. Try to pick an objective person who won't pick sides. When you are comfortable enough, open the lines of communication with your partner so he can answer any questions you have. It can be difficult to hear why your partner cheated on you, but you deserve an honest answer.
Step 2
Take some time away from your partner so you can emotionally absorb this new situation and decide if you want to continue your relationship. It's never a good idea to make a snap decision when emotions are running high.
Step 3
Find a licensed marriage counselor and make an appointment for you and your partner. A marriage counselor will help you both to recognize underlying problems that could have contributed to the affair and can offer you solutions to fix or work on these problems.
Step 4
Forgive your partner. Don't forgive him because you think you are expected to or because someone else is urging you to. Take your time and forgive him when you are ready.
The Unfaithful Partner
Step 1
End the affair immediately, which includes not seeing the person again and stopping all forms of communication.
Step 2
Take responsibility for your behavior and sincerely apologizing to your partner. Explain why you felt the need to cheat on your partner without placing blame on her or making excuses for your actions.
Step 3
Restore trust in your relationship, but understand that this can take years to accomplish. Be honest with your partner about everything and avoid secrets or secretive behavior. It is normal for your partner to ask questions about your behavior, like wanting to know who you just talked to on the phone or asking what took you so long to get home from work.
Step 4
Talk to a trusted, objective person, like a counselor, to determine why you felt the need to be unfaithful to your partner. You can discuss this in marriage counseling or individual counseling.
Step 5
Meet your partner for date nights so you can reconnect with each other. You don't have to spend a lot of money on dates. Low-cost dates include having a romantic dinner at home, going to the movies and taking a walk around the neighborhood.
Tips and Warnings
- Both partners need to make a new commitment to each other and have a desire to make the relationship work.
Things You'll Need
- Licensed marriage counselor
Member Comments