3 Ways to Understand Homosexuality in Teenagers

1. Accept That Homosexuality is Not a Phase

Some parents wish to believe that homosexuality is a phase or a period of experimentation in their teenager's life. However, the truth is that most teens who reveal themselves as homosexuals will continue to identify that way as adults. The news that your child is gay may be startling and difficult for you to accept--but if you want to maintain a positive relationship with him, true acceptance of his sexuality is essential. The best way to move toward acceptance is to listen to him and get support from other parents of gay teens. If you have been taught homosexuality is a deviant lifestyle, try taking time to learn about and understand the opposite viewpoint.

2. Talk About Your Feelings Honestly

It's important for you and your teen to discuss emotions honestly. Let your child know if you're struggling with emotions like shock or fear about her homosexuality. Your child, too, should be encouraged to honestly relate her feelings. These discussions will help each of you understand what the other is going through and make handling uncomfortable situations easier. As a parent, it's important to assure her that these initial feelings of discomfort will be worked through with time.

3. Support Your Teenager in Making the Tough Decisions

Following your child's revelation of homosexuality, you'll want to help him with the difficult now facing him. One of these is the question of who to "come out" to: close friends, the community as a whole or nobody. For teens just beginning to deal with their sexuality, this may be a time to keep sexual preference private. Others may wish to make their homosexuality known immediately. There are other situations to consider as well, such as whether he should join a gay/straight alliance and whether he wants to participate in gay activism. You and he also need to consider the difficult fact that not everyone in the community will be supportive and some may react in particularly harsh ways. You and your teen need to prepare for such potential adverse reactions.