1. Accept That Children Eventually Leave Home
Parents know that almost all children eventually leave home to start independent lives. Despite this knowledge, most parents are more than a little disconcerted when the time comes for their child to move away from home. This is especially hard when the child is still a teenager. Despite your mixed emotions, don't make your teen feel guilty or express doubts that he will be capable of making it on his own. Doing so will not forestall the inevitable, but it may sour your relationship with your child. Instead, have faith that you have raised a self-sufficient young adult, and let your teen know--in conversation or via a letter--that you believe in him.
2. Let Yourself Go Through the Grieving Process
Accepting a children's foray into the world is only the first step in coping with what many call the "empty nest" syndrome. Parents should acknowledge the pain of separation and expect to go through a grieving process. Anticipate working through a myriad of emotions, including denial, shock, anger and despair. Allow yourself as an "empty nester" to experience these feelings without seeking to repress them. This will help you transition more quickly into the reorganization stage, where you will begin to restructure your newly changed life. During this stage, you can focus on the happier aspects of your child's leave-taking, like having more time and freedom to travel, take classes or pursue your interests.
3. Stay in Touch With Your Teen
Your teenager is only a cell-phone call or instant message away. Don't inundate your teen with a barrage of voice mails and emails, but do establish a consistent pattern for staying in touch. As he learns to adjust to his new home and life, your teen may appreciate this communication as much as you do (although it's unlikely he will say so). Calling and emailing consistently will create a strong foundation for your evolving relationship. Though you as a parent will naturally hope for an even exchange in calls, expect to be the initiator most of the time. Your teen is testing his independence and facing time-consuming challenges, which may leave him little time to reach out to you. Let your emails outnumber your phone calls by five to one, since emails can be read and returned at your teen's convenience. Consider picking a certain time of the week, such as Sunday afternoons, for a regularly scheduled phone call.
