4 Ways to Cope With Terminating a Pregnancy

1. Cope With Grief Through Ritual

Terminating a pregnancy can be very distressing and many women who undergo this procedure experience extreme amounts of guilt. One of the ways to overcome the pain is to come up with some sort of ritual that will help you acknowledge the termination and commemorate the child that will never be born. Ritual is an important part of the grieving process and in some cultures there are even socially approved ways of acknowledging and atoning for abortion. In Japan, many Buddhist temples have shrines to Jizo, the god of lost travelers and children. Many of these shrines were put up by women who have had abortions in the belief that Jizo will care for the spirits of their unborn children until they can be reborn into another incarnation. Although you need not set up a shrine, you may choose to keep a journal, light a candle or remember an anniversary, such as the date the termination took place or the expected due date.

2. Arrange to Help Another Child

Some women who have had abortions report feeling as though they are threats to other children around them. You can help to overcome this common feeling by making a donation to a charitable organization that is specifically chartered to help children. Certain organizations even let you sponsor an individual child and you may even have the opportunity to correspond with that child. In this way, you can experience what it means for to care for and help out a child, even if you are unable to take on that responsibility full time at this point in your personal life.

3. Do Not Turn Away From Your Religion

If you were part of a church (or temple, mosque, or shrine) community before your termination, do not let the guilt you feel over the termination keep you from the comfort your church may have to offer. Even if your church takes a strong anti-abortion stance, many churches (even the most conservative of Catholic parishes) offer outreach programs to help women who have been through this situation reconnect with the church. "Hate the sin, love the sinner" is the basic philosophy, and you need to try to apply it to yourself as well. Even if you hate what you have done, do not hate yourself and do not expect that others will be unable to forgive.

4. Seek Counseling if Necessary

Undergoing a termination can often be the trigger that sends a woman into a prolonged bout of clinical depression. If you find yourself experiencing any of the classic symptoms of depression, such as loss of appetite, changes in sleeping patterns or lack of interest in anything, you may need to seek out a trained mental health professional. A good counselor can help you learn to confront your feelings about the termination process and to come up with strategies for overcoming your sorrow and getting on with your life. The counselor may even be able to connect you with a psychiatrist who can provide antidepressant medications to help you get over this hump.