Most everyone has experienced feelings of jealousy, whether it involved a romantic relationship, platonic friendship or a colleague. The thought of jealously may bring to mind a green-eyed neighbor who is envious of your new automobile or a co-worker who is resentful that he was passed over for a promotion that was awarded to you. But jealously may be most evident in emotionally charged love relationships. Occasional feelings of jealously are normal, but when taken to extremes, it can turn ugly and potentially dangerous.
Considerations
Healthy jealously can be beneficial when it is intended to protect and maintain a relationship, according to Focus on the Family. It is typically regarded as a sign of commitment and caring for another individual. When jealousy becomes chronic and uncontrollable, however, it can severely harm a relationship because it chips away at the bond that holds it together.
Unhealthy Jealously
A person who harbors unhealthy jealously may attempt to place unfair restrictions on another person in a futile attempt to prevent further feelings of suspicion and resentment. This controlling behavior can cause the other person to resist the jealous person's demands, provoking even further attempts at control. When jealous behavior goes completely haywire, it can erupt into aggression and possibly turn violent.
Damaging Effects
A person who is intensely jealous and has an overwhelming urge to control, may have feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. These toxic feelings of self-loathing can spill over into the relationship that sparked the jealously and work to further damage a decaying bond.
Healthy Jealousy
Normal jealousy in a relationship generally stems from a place of love and commitment. It may be perfectly normal to feel brief pangs of jealously in response to a perceived threat, say if your significant other goes to a strip club with a group of friends. If a husband suspects another man is flirting with his wife, healthy feelings of jealously may surface. He accepts them as a reminder of how much he cares for his wife and is quick to let them go because this relationship is based on mutual trust.
Precautions
Jealousy in small and appropriate doses can be an indication of your positive and loving feelings for a special someone in your life. When jealously gets out of control, it becomes injurious to both parties involved. Unhealthy jealousy uses up precious energy and steals quality time that could be spent nurturing and deepening the relationship.
Prevention/Solution
If you can learn from how jealously may have affected your previous relationships, it may help you refrain from making similar mistakes in the future. It can be easy to mask feelings of jealousy in the early stages of a relationship, but as time goes on and you let down your guard, they may become harder to hide. If you think you don't have a grasp on your jealous feelings, you may want to consider counseling or therapy.
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