Once a child enters the later elementary years, around fourth grade, he should be able to clean his room and keep it clean. Developing this skill isn't necessarily easy, however. It needs to be a habit that is perceived by the child as a normal part of his everyday life. He may never leap with joy at the concept of cleaning his room, but if you focus a reward system correctly, you'll find the task of getting your child to clean less onerous.
Step 1
Reward effort, not necessarily results. Young children, starting at toddler age, can easily be taught to put blocks back in a box; make it part of the game. Remember, though, that children are still learning. Don't anticipate perfection. Instead, if your child genuinely tries to put her laundry away, praise her and reward with a heartfelt hug. Don't point out what she's done wrong by overfilling a drawer, for example. Patiently explain that she should seek another drawer once one is filled.
Step 2
Motivate your child with appropriate responses. If your child cleans his entire room without prompting and keeps it that way for a month, you've achieved a monumental parenting accomplishment, and your child should receive a monumental reward. Depending on your family circumstances and the rules in your house, this might mean a reward, such as letting your daughter get her ears pierced, or something simpler, such as scheduling a movie, dinner and sleepover with friends to celebrate. Don't overdo the rewards for small things, as this can backfire if your child assumes he doesn't need to work too hard for a spectacular reward.
Step 3
Be clear and specific when giving praise. Don't use the meaningless phrase "good job." Note particular things your child has done well: nicely making the bed, tidily keeping her desk, putting all her shoes away, hanging up coats neatly and so forth. Some children need only to have their efforts noticed--the reward doesn't have to include a trip to the mall.
Step 4
Provide rewards tied to the room. For example, a well-kept room might mean your child gets to have a sleepover, a new comforter or a new poster. Placing the reward in his room provides a daily reminder to him of what he's accomplished and can continue to do.
Step 5
Be calm when things get messy. Kids naturally have times when they do as they should and times when they get busy or forgetful or simply avoid cleaning. Rather than being angry, calmly remind your child of the rules for the house regarding her room-cleaning responsibilities, and help make sure she has time to get the room cleaned up.
